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Question about stuck up family members...

This is a question mixed with a rant but do any of you have really stuck up family members who think they are the center of the universe? I have this one aunt (mom's sister) who lives a state away. Her and I have never been close, and we hardly ever talk, she's one of those people who care about what she looks like to an extent that it's annoying (you know those people). I was brought up to act girly and look nice all the time and have nice things (mom and grandmother).. BUT I ended up hating it! I wear what is comfortable and im with a guy who is not about all that bs and is fun and dosen't make a huge deal over such superficial things and he loves me for who I am and not what I wear and what I have. He also thinks that my family treats me like im not good enough because I don't conform to what they think is "proper." If I could move far away, I would, but they're always going to be family. Anybody in a similar boat?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Well, I'm like that with my in-laws. They are pretty wealthy and super judgmental! I know a lot of times they can't help it, but my husband's siblings seriously think that people shouldn't have kids unless they make over $200,000/year and live in enormous houses. They are disgusted by fat people, people who don't exercise, and people who are generally unattractive. I get tired of their judgmental comments, but now I find myself being more judgmental than ever before. I hate it, but I've been around them for years now and am starting to learn some behaviors from them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • My father's side of the family is like that also so I just try to not talk to them. Their all about how small your waist is and how big your wallet is. If I gain 10lbs then my Grandma will be the first to let me know. They tell me how beautiful I am all the time. Well that is all well and good I suppose but I would rather be known for my intelligence, my kindness, and my sense of humor instead of my looks. They all act as if they are better than me and even at the calling hours of my Grandpa's funeral they were bragging about their new flat screen TV they had bought. Lovely.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:44 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • OP here... I forgot to mention that the whole point of my question/rant was about my aunt who feels like she does not need to call me or return my phone calls at that (which I am forced to make by my mom mostly and grandmother who is nasty aunt's mother).. I don't understand why they think I should be so nice to someone who dosen't give a rat's a** about me or my babyshower, OR my baby at that... Would it be wrong just not to talk to any of them? Sometimes I just want to pretend I don't even know them. They are the most annoying, bitter, selfish people I know.. and I don't want to turn out like them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I do have cousin that is like that. It is annoying, and I do get sick of the world revolving around her. She is ridiculously spoiled, and apparently we all have to cater to her whims even when it's a huge inconvenience for the rest of us. I have tried to keep a connection with her since she is family and we have similarly aged children, but there is no effort on her part. I was asking her to lunch about once a month for a couple of years, and she was always too busy to make it. She's usually too busy to actually attend or stay at family functions too, but she does have plenty of time to do things with her friends who are apparently better than me. She inherited some money, which is basically gone now. I've worked my way through school and have a good job, but I don't shop for designer clothes so I'm not acceptable, an embarrassment. If it weren't for holidays I'd be able to just forget her.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I think everyone has someone in their family with some kind of superiority complex, they are just shallow and should be treated as such.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:51 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • yeah! If only it weren't for the holidays.. it would make it so much easier.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • She lives a state away and you are all upset. How much further away would you need to move?It's always easier to blame others, THEY are stuck up and think they are the center of the universe. Try to shift your thinking to I.

    I don't fit in with my family. I have decided not to be a girly girl and be into clothes and conform to what is "proper'.

    WOW, that just changed your rant into a mature statement. I'm being serious. Try to shift your thinking from they to I. When you think of it that way it makes even less sense to feel the need to move away. You are feeling good with where you are, they are the ones with a problem so why move.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • OP here... I forgot to mention that the whole point of my question/rant was about my aunt who feels like she does not need to call me or return my phone calls at that (which I am forced to make by my mom mostly and grandmother who is nasty aunt's mother).. I don't understand why they think I should be so nice to someone who dosen't give a rat's a** about me or my babyshower, OR my baby at that... Would it be wrong just not to talk to any of them? Sometimes I just want to pretend I don't even know them. They are the most annoying, bitter, selfish people I know.. and I don't want to turn out like them.


    Mine doesn't call me or return my calls either.  I started just sending things via e-mail so I don't have to have actual contact.  Also, I don't feel quite so ignored when I don't get a response.  I make the effort to keep the peace, but then the ball is in their court.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I've got a SIL like that. she claims that her attempts to make others do as she wishes is all about her children.
    but this woman even tries to tell me what I can write! such as books, short stories and blogs!

    I don't see how that affects her children.

    It's up to you what you want to do. I personally have decided to ignore her entirely when it comes to what I write.
    you can do the same when it comes to your baby showers and the like- why are you so worried when it comes to her being there anyway?
    I say send a invite, then if you don't hear from her, don't play her game. If she doesn't want to come, then who needs her?

    myself, I'll be naming a name character after my SILs kid and as far as I'm concerned if she doesn't like it, then don't read the book- :P
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • You both don't like each other so why not just leave each other alone? I gave up on some in my family and it's up to them to decide if they want to change for the better or just stay out of my life for good. You shoudln't have to try when the other person isn't trying too. If you don't like what she stands for then just stand alone and be happy with the ones you have in your life that you can tolerate.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 5:03 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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