Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What can I do to get my 21month old to listen to me?

My 21month old won't listen to a thing we say, she use to listen to us when we said "No" but not anymore. We have been trying time-out but we can't get her to sit still, she jumps up & runs off. I don't want her to turn into a brat, she does say "Please" & "Thank You" for the most part. But, she has started yelling "NO" & "STOP" when we take something away from her that she isn't suppose to have or if she wants to do something that we won't allow her to do. It's just been a struggle recently, I don't even want to go out in public at times.

Answer Question

Asked by marcnsarah at 4:01 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I tell my kids why a lot of the time. For example, "no" they can't go out into the road because trucks and cars can't see you and you might get hurt. or "no" we can't touch the baby's face because our germs might get baby sick. Also be consistent. if you decide she is not allowed to do such and such stick to it.

    Also this is something I do around babies- put everything out of their reach that you don't want them touching. it's tempting them and not fair to leave junk all over, you know? Then get mad at them for being naturally curious. Not that you do this but I thought I'd add it.

    Hey my kids do stuff too that they KNOW not to do. Like today putting dirt all over the porch when I have asked them to keep it on the ground/ grass! Sigh!

    Answer by txdaniella at 4:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Put her in time out and sit there with her until times up. Use a kitchen timer, put 2 min. on it. If she throws kicks yells screams, that's fine, you cant control that, you'll go nuts trying. Just stand there, and let her scream, don't tell her to stop, give no response to that negative behavior. If she tries to get out of time out, put her back and keep doing it until she stays. It'll be hard, and time consuming, however if you give in 10 min. later she'll take 15 next time. So be consistent.

    As far as taking an item she likes away, do it. If she throws a fit, let her lay and throw her fit wherever she wants and don't respond. Don't tell her to stop... she'll eventually see you gave no response and that it wont get her what she wants.

    NUMBER 1 be consistent in whatever you do.

    You're doing great so far. Just hang in there. and keep it up, she'll grow out of it.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 4:08 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • What problems we're having is yelling "NO, STOP IT, MEAN". Climbing to reach the fish tank and putting toys in the fish tank and acting out when she doesn't get something her way.

    Answer by marcnsarah at 4:14 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Everything is baby proofed in our apartment, she can't grab anything. It's just when we go into stores or restaurants.

    Answer by marcnsarah at 4:15 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I think you mean you want your toddler to obey you. To get toddlers to obey, you have to use parenting skills that work. Saying no and punishing doesn't work. Has it worked? That means you need to learn parenting skills that do work.

    There is nothing wrong with your child. Your child is doing what toddlers do when their parents only know how to say no or use punishments. She has gotten worse. Here is an article about the problems of saying no to toddlers and a whole different way of looking at parenting.

    Moms ask parenting questions thinking there is something wrong with their child. It is almost always something wrong with the parenting. Love & Limits is a great toddler parenting book by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called Star Parenting.

    Don't hit, pop, pinch, bite, or hurt your child. It doesn't help. It's all recommended on cm!


    Answer by Gailll at 4:34 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.