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Should a Husband help???

Hi, I am a stay home mom, I have 2 toddlers, I feel I work 24/7 I love my life as a MOM but I to get tired at times. My husband comes home has his meal , his rest alone, he does play w/the children often but not all the times, even at times I go out w/friends houses the children to give him some alone time but I come home and yet he still doesn't help me. I hope that when I come home from giving him alone time he then would offer to help me w/the kids but instead he says that I had fun time when I at any place even at a freinds house I'm still being a MOM! When they are sick I'm alone while he sleeps in the guesst room. I put them to sleep alone while he sleeps in the guesst room, then he gets upset at me why the children wake up late and I don't get up at 6am like all other MOMS out there! Is it fair? SHould he be much more envold in helping me out regardless of his job b/c when he clocks out I'm still at the MOTHER JOB.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Being a SAHM means being on call 24/7...

    I disagree....being a PARENT means being on call 24/7.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:53 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I tell him to join me in putting them to sleep like most DADs out there, I ask him to have a meal w/us and help me feed them, it's a constant battle w/the little one in getting her to eat and I can't ever have a relax meal all I need is his help! Should I expect for him to help me out even if he is tired!? I 'm tired too but I have to keep going!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • He should help. There are going to be posters on here who tell you otherwise but yes, he should be an adult, a father and help. Staying home is not fun 24 hours a day. You are being very nice in taking your children with you to visit a friend when he is home. I would not. He should have one on one time with them. It's fine for him to come home, sit eat and relax. But he should at least spend time with his children. You deserve a break too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • i think that they should help my SO has an issue with this sometimes but then i let him have it real good and let him know im upset and it gets better

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 6:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • YES. A husband should help his wife and he should show some appreciation for what she does.

    My suggestion: ask him to watch the kids some while you run errands or something. Start by leaving them for very short periods of time so he can learn to deal with them on his own. Gradually have him watch them for longer periods of time. He will have to experience some of what you do to fully understand that you need a break from it. He does need a break from work, but his break is definitely not more important than yours. GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • You are doing a fine job at letting him get his way with everything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I have to say, OP, sounds like there is something else going on here then just parental duties.

    My husband works full-time and goes to school full-time. I am a SAHM of three. I honestly try to make sure there isn't anything for my husband to do just because he has so much on his plate but if he sees that I need help, he helps...if I need a break, he tries to give me one. He always interacts and helps with the kids.

    What you are describing goes beyond parental duties...sounds like he does not respect you or your role within your home.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 6:11 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I agree with anetrnlov. I have been a SAHM for years. When our boys were little if my hubby saw I was tired or stressed he took over without any fuss. He told me all the time how much he appreciated all that I do and understands I get no break. He kept them so I could go shopping or go have lunch on a saturday with friends. In turn he would go on Saturday motorcycle rides with his buddies etc... Let him take over for a saturday or something like that to let him experience all that you do.

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:17 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I'm old school, and believe when they are that small, they need mom the most. As they get older it is more important they have some dad-time...especially if they're boys.
    As for sharing the load, me and my hubby don't. I stay home too, and we talked about that while we were dating. I take care of the house and kids, and he takes care of everything else!!! I think I got the better deal !

    Answer by Nynne at 6:47 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I am a sahm all of my kids are now in school I clean while the kids are in school and get errands done. My Husband works a couple of jobs and I still expect him to help out around the house. He lives here and makes a mess, he helped me make these kids so he can help take care of them, he is so ANAL about the way somethings are done we have an agreement that I just let him do it (laundry being one) and a lot of the stuff I expect him to do are things that I myself cannot do.
    He has no problem with helping out. As a matter of fact there are a lot of times I wish he would sit down and relax but he just is not capable of sitting down.

    Answer by kc932 at 7:14 PM on Apr. 1, 2010