Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Going out after having a baby

I notice that every time I go out with friends and drink I feel extremely guilty the next day. I am not neglecting my child or anything, but I still feel guilty, like I am a mom now and should not be going out ever. Even if I have one beer I feel guilty. My baby will be home asleep with his daddy watching him, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to me.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it irrational to think this way?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • how old is baby?

    once my girls got was ok for me to run away for a night. lol even if it was for an hour at the dessert place around the corner.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 7:53 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • my baby is 4 months old

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • you've got plenty of time to adjust and get used to the idea of leaving.

    its good for you, might not feel like it. and you have that urge to tell everyone that BABY'S AT HOME With daddy....(I still do that when I'm out alone - its a strange feeling) and mine are 9,6 and almost 4.

    slow and steady, go for 20 min - then the next time a few minutes longer. go for as long as you are comfortable. but know that baby is safe with daddy (although not always the best parenting choices are made.....9pm icecream binges the last time I was out ugh...)



    Answer by hypermamaz at 8:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Nope I had to, once I got back in shape I had to get back on stage and I work in a momma had to make the money, my work is like going out.

    Answer by mommaplaysbass at 8:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • yep, I don't know what's wrong with me. My son is two and I still feel that way. Like this is really an irresponsible thing to be doing even if it is one beer or one late night. I don't know how to fix it but i'm right there with you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • It may be too soon for you.

    Answer by Gailll at 8:20 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Its really important to do that. Go out every now and then if only for a little while. Its hard at first, but its good to be a little comforable with leaving your baby in someone elses care.

    My SO had to be rushed to the ER and was in the hospital for a week. I had to leave our son with my grandparents a lot during that time, and I was SO glad that I was kinda comfortable with it already, otherwise it would have made that time 10x more difficult.

    Take it slow, but you need to go out (even if its just to go to the store). Its good for both you and the child. My son is 8 months and well adapted now to a sleepover at grams once a month so we can go out and have "couple time". You need you time.

    Its the parents who never leave their childs side (honestly no offence meant) that tend to have kids that suffer with seperation anxiety, and it leads to frustration and occasional resentment in the parents, IMO and my experience.

    Answer by MandiDueAug09 at 9:13 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Guilt is a way of life for mom's it seems. I don't get it.

    Answer by bella36 at 9:13 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I've never left my child with anyone other than her dad, when he is visiting at my house (eg-a quick trip to the pharmacy). But yesterday, he and I had our first date since our daughter was born (she's 21 months old!!). His mom came over after our daughter was off to bed, and he and I went out to dinner. We plan on doing it at least once a week. It was so nice to do something together.

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:10 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Yes, I always did and still do and my daughter is 1! I guess I feel like going out is not 'mom behavior' or something. I used to go out all the time before I had her even after I was married. I also feel guilty even when she's asleep being watched by her dad! I think it's just a mom thing, you feel guilty about EVERYTHING when you have a kid.

    Answer by danielp at 12:51 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.