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Need some SERIOUS help!!!!! Daughter refuses to sleep!

Okay my 4 year old daughter REFUSES to go to bed. She acts fine as it is time to head to bed, then it all hits the roof. She screams, cries, and throws tantums. She keeps saying "I don't WANT to go to bed" "I don't want to sleep in my bed." W e have tried everything, from being nice, bribbing her, taking things away. I am at wits end. Me and my hubby don't know what to do. We have even bought her a new bed.

She is also having accidents as well, pooping herself as well as peeing herself. I don't know what to do. Anyone PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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mommyjones

Asked by mommyjones at 8:30 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 5 (84 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Do not give her a choice. Tell her. "Time for bed" Bring her to bed. If you do this every night, she should be ok.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:35 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Wow Louise2, why didnt they think of that before. Wonderful words of wisdom. (sarcasm)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • maybe leave a light on... (if she is afraid of the dark, or maybe having nightmares) try putting her to bed with you guys for a couple of nights... or even try reading, watching a movie, etc during the time she is about to go to bed and see if it makes her sleepier.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • My dd is 4 and has a hard time going to sleep, she has adhd. I lay down with her to help her relax and be still long enough to go to sleep. After she falls asleep. Maybe 20-30 minutes...I get up. I enjoy the cuddle time ;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:51 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I have tried what you three said and it doesn't work. We thought she was afraid of the dark, but that isn't it. We try to keep putting her back to bed, that doesn't work, makes it worse. We have tried stiing in with her that doesn't work. She kicks off her blankets. We don't want her in our bed, because it will become a bad habit!
    mommyjones

    Answer by mommyjones at 8:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I agree with the bad habit thing. My kids have never slept in our bed. Except for when they were sick. I consider that time husband and wife time ;)

    The only other thing I can offer is a "change of habit" idea that I have used in the past. I noticed when my kids were younger that they would get into the habit or routine of doing things (even BAD things) over and over again until I broke the habit. For instance if they were giving me a hard time going to bed I would change it up and let them fall aleep watching a movie for 3 or 4 nights...then I would change it up to going to sleep laying on the couch...then move to the bed. Just change it up, take the pressure off for a while....you may be in a power struggle with her.

    I am the type of mom who likes to win....lol. But in some cases it may be better to back of...reset her "normal" and try it again in a different way.

    Does that make any sense...lol.
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:01 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • You may want to take her to your doctor. It is possible that there is something going on in her body that isn't obvious to you.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 10:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Early-ish bedtime, solid routine, a lovey (blanket or stuffed animal that she loves), a nightlight - - all will help. . . . then check into the no cry sleep solution. :)
    TiffanyMarie80

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 11:57 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • *DONT PUT HER IN BED WITH YOU *,,,,,SHE WILL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE.....BRING HER TO THE DOCTOR SHE MIGHT HAVE GROWING PAINS OR SHE MAY JUST HAVE PROBLEMS FALLING ASLEEP .....GET A SMALL DVD PLAYER FOR HER TO HAVE IN BED TO WATCH A MOVIE IT WILL PLAY OVER AND OVER AND SHE WILL GET BORED .....I WISH I HAD MORE TO SAY ...GL !
    ELIZABETHSMO902

    Answer by ELIZABETHSMO902 at 10:44 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • my 3 yr old son just started doing this. as exhausting as it is and i learned this from nanny 911..let them scream..if they get out turn them right around and put them right back in. and habitually just keep doing it. the other day i spent 2 hours of literal getting up turning him around putting him back in bed..walking out of the room..and he was out again...turning him around and putting him back in bed..everytime he would scream but you have to tell them there is no choice its bed time..and sometimes what works with my son is tell them they have to go to sleep so they can hurry up and wake up and i dont know go to the pool or school or see their friends or have pancakes for breakfast..something she would love to look forward to. good luck! also, they like to call it the trying 4's...for a reason. haha they like to see how far they can try and try and try. that might also be what she is doing..keep us updated!
    LibbyMoncada

    Answer by LibbyMoncada at 4:10 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

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