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How can I get my 2 year old to not freak out when I leave?

I am a stay at home mom so my daughter is always around me or her dad. At the church nursery I tried leaving her in there 3 times already and she screams the whole time and just cries and cries. I've tried telling her mommy will be back but that just doesn't seem to work. Any suggestions???

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • I completely and totally understand... I couldn't leave my son in the church nursery forever since he was always with me. I ended up getting a part time job and had to leave him with my mom once a week. It was hard and he would cry, but now i can drop him off at nursery and he does great. He may cry, but as soon as i am down the hall he is fine. Is there a friend, or family member that could watch him for a few hours a week. That is the only thing that helped for me. He finally understood that mommy always comes back. I am sure he will grow out of it soon, and be running off by himself before you know it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I could not leave dd with my dh to go grocery shopping alone (without her crying the whole time) until she was 2.5; then she got over it.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 10:19 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • The only way to get her used to it is to do it...If it doesn't work at the church nursery, try something else. Find someone to watch her for a short time while you go out. It could be ten minutes at first, and work your way up. She will learn that you leave and you come back! She will also learn that she CAN trust other people to take care of her. If you never leave her, she can't learn that. It is healthy for her to learn that you can leave and she will survive while you are gone, and that you will come back!

    Answer by BJoan at 10:26 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • My youngest son went through a stage where he didn't want to go in the church nursery, he was about a year old. I just had to toughen up and leave him in there. He screamed the entire time, but he finally understood that I WOULD come back, but that he had to stay there. It took a few months of this and then he LOVED going to the nursery. It's hard, but you have to be strong. They have to learn to be away from you at some point.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 11:32 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Practice it.

    Go early. Kneel down with her, hug her, tell her you'll be right back. Then leave her sight for about 2 minutes and come back. Make a big deal about coming back to her. Then do it again. Hug her and tell her you'll be right back. Leave again, this time for 5 minutes. Doing this over and over during one service will teach her that you will return. Currently she is afraid that if you leave her sight you are going to disappear. Practice this at home too. Make sure to never just leave without her knowing, even if it's to get the mail. Tell her you'll be right back, hug her and leave through the door. I worked in a daycare for a church for a while. With REALLY clingy kids we asked the parents come early and practice leaving. Usually by 10 minutes gone the child has gotten into something with another child and doesn't even realize the parent is gone. Good luck!

    Answer by Kenre at 11:46 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Start leaving her with a babysitter more often. She has to get used to not having you around the whole time. Do it as a process, like Kenre said. This sort of attachment is unhealthy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • It really isn't an unhealthy attachment... do some research anon :54

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

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