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is it true then...?

my entire family claims im messed up, im at fault, ME ME ME....

i have no friends. and when my dh and i get into it he says these things to me too.

is it true then that i am actually a messed up person?

i dont know how to juggle this. nobody wants to talk to me about it. i try to do good things for my family, MY new family, for others...i think im a good person...so why is there nobody there for me?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Only if you believe them. They use their words to manipulate you into acting the way they want you to act. Be yourself and screw them and the horse they road in on
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Can you give me an example of some stuff you do to make these people say you are messed up,otherwise how can any of us answer your question.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 9:45 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • This is extremely difficult because no one on Cafe Mom knows you personally. I would tell you to ask you family or the people who are saying it to you.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • how about you get some counseling... then you will have an unbiased opinion.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • i'd also ask the people who know you personally, BUT understand that some people blame others so they dont have the face the true problem. take my family for example. i'm now 21 years old.. but for the last 10 years- i was blamed for the break up of our family, then the divorce of the parents (my mom had 2 affairs and ended up with two kids!- and somehow its MY fault?!), then my mom's m/c.. in my relationships with my ex boyfriends: i was blamed everytime i got hit (one time, it was cuz i went outside without my then- BF. he got mad and hit me and said it was my fault), i was blamed everytime the guy cheated on me. i was blamed for every BAD thing that ever happened-- like when one ex bf went to jail for disorderly conduct and DUI at 19 years old-- i was blamed for that. was those any of MY fault? hell no. but it took me until recently that it was NOT my fault.

    if you want, you can PM me anytime you'd like to.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 10:14 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I'd ask them to be more specific than "messed up."

    If they all can be specific about the same exact thing (substance abuse, or maybe an emotional illness) then they're probably on to something...and you can know what to specifically get professional help with. For the record, having an emotional illness doesn't make you a bad person, it just means chemicals or hormones in your body are acting funny - that's nothing to be ashamed of.

    If they just keep saying "messed up," or are always generic, then what are you supposed to do with that? Chances are then, that you're just hanging around mean people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • We don't know if you're "messed up" or not. HOWEVER, I think it's always good to evaluate yourself. None of us are perfect and we can all work on our shortcomings. Self evaluation is a good thing...verbal abuse, however, is not.
    Melissa823

    Answer by Melissa823 at 10:51 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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