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Do you think I didn't give him enough time to "grow up"?

My bf and I have been together since july 2008. We have a 10 month old little girl. We moved up to where his family is, 4 hours away from all my friends and family. I found a really great job right away, and had the baby in daycare. He was working here and there, and then finally found a full time job about two - three months ago. I was paying all the utilities (roughly $300) daycare (roughly $160) and buying the food for the most part. I was also paying for us to be on a bowling leage ($80) and doing all the household chores. He told me on more then one occasion that he didn't care about anything I wanted to talk to him about or say in general. We didn't do anything together, except bowling once a week on the league. I finally had enough when I found out the one bill (rent) he was responsible to pay was not getting paid - lived there for seven months and he only payed one month. Would you have stayed??

Answer Question
 
SlapHappi

Asked by SlapHappi at 12:31 AM on Apr. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (206 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • NO! Run girl, run as fast as you can and don't look back!!!! Judging by your avatar you are a beautiful woman so grab your daughter and move on. you will soon do MUCH better!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • cont. He was on unemployment so it's not like I was the only one with an income. Rent was only $150. The only other bill he had to pay (because he wouldn't tell me how much it was) was for our cell phones and that was roughly $125. I asked for help almost every day, and it got to the point where he would be pissed off because I was "nagging" him. He payed for him to also be on a dart league every week. He would make sure that he had $100 dollars in between paychecks, when I would be broke the day after I got payed. He didn't put any money for diapers and wipes and I don't think has spent one dime on our daughter. I finally left last Thursday and came down to my mothers. He has texted me twice in a week just to say he missed me, but has not asked me how our daughter is (she wasn't feeling all that great when we left) and he complained the one time he did call that he had $10 dollars until his payday.
    SlapHappi

    Answer by SlapHappi at 12:38 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • No but then I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with a man I didn't know long either
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • I know leaving was the best thing for me to do, but when there is a child involved everything is second guessed!!! I guess I just need reassurance that this is really the right thing to do for my daughter and I.
    SlapHappi

    Answer by SlapHappi at 12:40 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • I understand you second guessing yourself. But REMEMBER you are raising a daughter. YOU are teaching her what being a woman and a mom means. When she is grown she will be much stronger for it, I know I was.

    You did the right thing by leaving.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Thanks for all the reassurance!! I really really appreciate it. He's a great father, but I just hope he will continue to be now that I'm not with him. Guess that will be for another question though... thanks again!!!
    SlapHappi

    Answer by SlapHappi at 12:54 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • yes, you definatly did the right thing.... if you stayed, things would have gotten worse and you probably would have ended up depressed.......now even if you hurt or feel bad, you have the chance to feel better now and you will grow and learn from it !

    I know we dont know each other, but I am proud of you for making that choice ! and wish you luck !
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:58 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • "He told me on more then one occasion that he didn't care about anything I wanted to talk to him about or say in general."
    -slaphappi
    I think that alone means he does not care,it clearly tells you as well that he don't even wanna work at it.why feel bad? he was not a BF worth keeping.Find a real man.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 1:12 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • i agree- you did the right thing. you was doing SO MUCH by yourself even tho you should have been recieving the help that you deserve! you'll be going places- its easy to tell. and if he decides to not be a good dad that he once was, thats his loss. not yours or your baby girls!
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:18 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Staying with him would have been the dead wrong thing to do.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:29 AM on Apr. 2, 2010

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