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would you do this?

My boyfriend(babys father) is abusive in everyway accept physically. when he is mad he says anything to hurt as deep as he can. His family is in our business nonstop, they are toxic and insane, and of course never mention the abuse, just that its all my fault. any and all problems are always my doing(I am apparently the anti christ0.
I have to go there for easter and I have decided that in the middle of it I am going to confront bf and have him tell everyone the things he has said to me. I want him to look at his 11 yr old neice and say the cruel abusive things-I want them all to see what I live with and who they need to be angry with.
would you do it, what would you say?
and yes I have to go...Ihave no choice.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Apr. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • If his family is that toxic, you really think they're going to care? They'll probably just say you're a drama queen and blow it off.

    You need to just plain leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Don't ruin everyones Easter! Find another time to do this. If it doesn't work out as you want it to,you'll be the bitch that ruined Easter.KWIM?

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 12:31 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • bad idea... sounds like a fight waiting to happen
    these are private matters that should NOT be brought up in front of a child for goodness sake
    and yes, you always have a choice, you can choose to leave. Emotional/verbal abuse IS abuse

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:32 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • This is the dramatic way to handle this. It doesn't sound like that's you. I hope not. Tell him that if he continues to talk to you the way he does, you are leaving, and do what you say.

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 12:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Bringing everything out in the open will not do anything for you and your relationship, solve the problem between the two of you or get up and leave, to find someone else who doesn't abuse you verbally.

    Answer by older at 12:40 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • anon 11:33 you are completely right. i am looking at it as a rational person would and since they are so sick you are right, they will blow it off. I will have to figure out another way, and leaving and cutting all contact might be the only option at this point.
    thanks for the input thinking isnt clear right now

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Thats so sad. You sound like your really angry about it, and you have the right to be.
    As much as you may want to, I wouldn't do that on Easter.Don't give them something more to talk about. They won't see what your trying to say, they'll just talk about the day you wigged out and it will still be a ll your fault in their eyes.
    Try killing meaness with kindness. Don't let them turn you into one of them by acting like them.
    Good Luck and HUGS to you!!

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:42 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • If you do it, it will backfire on you, and you will look more like the villain. Best thing to do is go, smile and say nothing unless you are asked a direct question. Then keep your answers to a simple yes or no, if at all possible. It might help you to remind yourself that this is the guy you have chosen to share your life with and that you got his family in the deal. When it doesn't turn out the way we had hoped, we tend to forget that we did have a choice in the matter. It also sometimes help to think back to what we found attractive in the beginning and concentrate on that thing, whatever it happens to be.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:45 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • hummm....
    I would NOT confront him. I would leave him.
    I would contact a family law attorney and see what I could do to take away his rights.
    If it came to it I would bribe him by telling him he would never have to pay child support if he signed away his rights... which I believe is the case anyway.

    I personal have self respect......... I think you need to get some.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • honestly and not in a mean way, but what will that prove? it doesnt sound like your are planning on leaving so why do this? WHat good can come? and to tell his neice? what did she ever do? You want her to grow up with the abuse you have to go through? If it bugs you so much then leave and hopefully it does bug you that much because that is not acceptable, sometimes i feel like the verbal abuse is just as bad or even worse as physical. Keep your head up and be strong

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 12:55 PM on Apr. 2, 2010