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my son will listen to me sometimes but not nearly like he does for his dad?

We have a 3 yr old boy who is a pretty good kid but sometimes he will throw fits or scream no like kids do. When my husband says stop he listens, I can literally tell him the exact smae way or discipline him the same way and it has no affect on him??? My husband works some nights so this means I am disciplining our child alone and want my time with some to be pleasant. What can I do to make him mind? I am consistant, I can take away toys, put him in the corner, take away tv time and nothing phases him..or he might begin to obey on that one behavior but then begin acting out in some other way. I am not a push over and am concerned my inlaws might see me as that because my son does obey his father better then myself.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Apr. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • I wish I could help you. My kids are the same way. They listen to daddy way more than the listen to mommy. Of course my kids listen to almost everybody more than they listen to me.

    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 10:10 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • sometimes I think it is because as mothers we are the natural nurturers and the one who makes the owies better so when it comes down the law its almost like the childs like my mommy cant possibly mean that, shes not like that...I wish my child could see both sides.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • I wouldn't worry what your inlaws think. If you are consistent, keep it up. If he's a daddy's boy, part of the problem might be that he is missing daddy and that's why he is acting out for you. Maybe a swat of the butt will get his attention. Is there something in particular that sets him off? Maybe you can chang the routine if that is the case.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:19 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • Don't worry about what other people think of your parenting. Only what you think of your parenting matters. Everyone has different opinions about how others parent their kids, and you will drive yourself batty worrying about what they all think.

    Some fathers have a natural fear about them that children instantly react to. I know my dad. He was a teddy bear until he was mad, then he brought out that stern and loud "Dad voice" and it sent chills down your spine. Boys we brought around were always instantly scared of him, because again he had that natural fear about him. Maybe that's how your son sees your husband. That he knows that your husband will bring out that "Dad Voice" or certain way of diciplining if he does what he isn't supposed to.

    I agree with a previous post .. If there's something specific that sets him off with you, or a certain manipulation he uses, then change the routine to avoid that.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:08 PM on Apr. 2, 2010

  • My mom says that little boys have to smell a man stink bigger than their own. LOL!

    There is truth in it though. Lions will eat the young cubs if they get out of line, but the mother won't eat her own young. The babies know this and they respect dad in a very different way.

    Ask DH to show your DS how to respect you. If everything you do or say is enforced by dad when dad is home, it may help. Like with eating meals, if DH always says, "This is such a good dinner. I cleaned my plate, Mommy is the best cook ever!!" then DS will want to emulate dad. Or bed time, "Mommy reads the best bed time stories, they make me so sleepy."
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 9:35 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Testosterone bond, you can't fight that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • "I am consistant, I can take away toys, put him in the corner, take away tv time and nothing phases him."

    Okay. You listed several things that you do. That kind of doesn't sound very consistent. I heard Dr. Phil say one time that "a child needs to be able to predict the consequences of their actions with 100 percent accuracy." When he doesn't listen to you, does he know EXACTLY what will happen? Does he know that it takes one time and he's in time out? Does he know that he gets a warning? Does he know that a toy will be taken away?

    If he can't predict with 100 percent accuracy, then he might just be willing to take his chances and see if he gets lucky. Also, Dr. Phil says to find a child's currency. If they love a certain game, take that away. If they love to watch TV, take that away. If they can't stand to be in time out, that's where they go. Find ONE thing that works for your child and make it predictable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

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