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18 month old going through a phase?

My 18 year old daughter is going through this phase and I dont know what to do. She is being really bratty and mean! she throws herself on the floor and screams when i take something away from her or say no. She used to always give me kisses when I asked and now she just smacks me in the face really hard when I ask. She pushes me away. It breaks my heart. I dont know how to discipline her. I've tried everything. When I smack her hand or butt she just does it back to me or she does it to herself. What do I do?? and why is she doing this??

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 AM on Apr. 3, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • She's becoming a toddler. Be consistent with how you discipline her, have patience with her (yes, I know this is hard), don't give in to the tantrums by giving her the toy, the candy, whatever (you do not want to encourage or reward this behavior - while it's normal for an 18 mo old to do this, if you give in, then you're going to teach her that this works, and you'll soon have an 8 yr old that is still doing that...)

    Also, don't take it personally that she pushes you away and everything. That, too, is normal, and it goes in phases. Your loving baby becomes a moody toddler, who becomes a sweet and affectionate kid who becomes a moody teen... etc

    When she starts in with "I don't love you" or "I don't like you". You can just say - that's ok - I still love you. I will always love you, but I don't like how you're acting right now. Or, that's ok, you don't have to like me, but you do have to __ (pick up your toys).


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:48 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • My daughter is 14 months right now and she has been doing this for the past two months too. Lots of other moms told me to try to leave them alone by ignoring them for a minute (but still watching them from the corner of the room for safety).. I don't know if it fully works but I know that spanking my daughters bottom or hand doesnt work. Ive stopped that because its being a hippocrite by telling her its not nice to hit and to behave but then hitting her bottom. A child development teaher and mom of 3 of which two are twins, I know says its best to distract them at this age. Hope we both make it out of this phase soon. :-)

    Answer by NalimalanisMom at 6:30 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Instead of spanking, you might try running in place. It worked for my kids. Whenever my children start acting out my husband and I first try to locate the source of the problem and then work with the child to help her understand that the behavior is not acceptable. I know that this sounds trite but, we have been doing this since either of our children started communicating with us. It only takes patience and consistency on your part, A LOT IF IT.

    Answer by dragonlady6001 at 8:57 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • welcome to toddlerhood! :)

    Answer by tatmum at 9:13 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Very normal to start testing their limits at this age, but that does not mean she should be able to get away with things. I would recommend a book that may not seem quite a appropriate, but it has great advice. It is called "from difficult to delightful in 30 days". It is meant for spirited children or children with ADHD type of stuff, but the logic of it works for all children and I have been using it for about 3 months and my kids are now behaving wonderfully. Mine are 5 and 3 years old and do not behaviorally issues other then the normal stuff for that age.

    Answer by aeneva at 11:08 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • It's normal. I am going through it with my son right now so I know how you feel. My son hits me and pushes me all the time and when he does it I tell him in a firm voice no, we do not hit that is not nice. And then I usually send him on his way. He usually listens to me when I say that to him. But as far as her having hissy fits and such I usually just ignore it and walk away from him and he usually stop. Kids always are looking for a reaction from their parents when they are miss behaving. The best punishment you can do for a baby her age is just ignore her. I don't know if time outs would work very well. Didn't for me. You could try putting her in a room for about 3-5 minutes that doesn't have any toys or anything for a time out.

    Answer by motherofone1990 at 8:52 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Its and age thing my daughter is going through the same phase. She has a naughty corner and is put in it when she acts that way. If we are in public we take her outside and sit her facing the wall on the sidewalk. I only smacked her hand once and she hit me back harder so like someone else said, it does send mixed messages. Sounds like we are all in the same boat and just gotta remember we have very independant children who have limited communication skills.

    Answer by MILFInProgress at 10:17 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

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