Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Spinoff: Did your parents play favorites with you and your siblings?

My mom was terrible. IS terrible.

Aside from missing my wedding because she couldn't take off work... then the next week taking off work for my little brother's out of town football game...

My mother STILL plays favorites. DH and I didn't get even a card for Christmas, brother got a Wii, sisters got makeup and clothes. It's like, totally one-sided. I said on the other post I feel like my brother is my mom's SUN. Not just her son, but her Sun. Like her whole universe revolves around him.

He's "the big strong boy that may save her life someday."

Answer Question
 
matobe

Asked by matobe at 10:18 AM on Apr. 3, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 21 (10,174 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I don't know if I'd say they played favorites exactly. My mom did things for my sister she didn't do for me but they are a lot alike and much closer and it wasn't anything huge like the things yours did and does. They were little things. I think now that I'm older I can see why. My sister was born two months premature 30 years ago when preemies didn't have much of a chance of surviving like they do today. I think she was babied more than anything though. It doesn't bother me any more. I feel for her now though. She had so much going for her earlier in her life and has had so many bad things happen to her that it is just sad.

    I'm sorry your mother does what she does. It's not right to play favorites.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:23 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Yes my parents favored, and still do, my brother over me. They have made it very apparent over the years. Even now they still baby him, and he is almost 23 years old.
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 10:25 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Yes my brother is the favorite for my Mom. It really hurt me growing up and my grandmother really stepped up for me and made up for it we were extremely close. My brother is 28 years old with a son and his own home and they still pay his car insurance and cell phone bill. I don't let it bother me anymore you can't change how some people are!

    kjfamily

    Answer by kjfamily at 10:37 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • Absolutely! My parents have 2 bio kids, adopted 3 kids, and fostered about 25, over a 10 year period. The favorites have always been the adopted kids, then foster kids because "They need it more" or some such bullshit. Yeah, I'm a bio kid. So, for that, I will never adopt, nor will I foster, and take love, time, and attention away from my kids for someone else's.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:14 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • My whole family does, now that I'm older, though they never did when I was younger. I'm the one who graduated high school and rather than going straight to collage, I started a family. Because I wasn't the idea, I'm now basically ignored, and they all just want to see my kids since I'm the only one providing grandchildren. Stupid little things like because my sister graduated and went right into college, she gets $200 a month from my grandfather. I just enrolled in college a year ago and am working on my associates degree, but I am conveniently ignored.
    LokisMama

    Answer by LokisMama at 11:51 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • yes..my mom did it with my sister...she always got a little more of everything...i got the hand me down car..she got a newer car....we actually had a bet on how long be she would total it...she totaled it by racing (claims she swerved to miss a deer, but you could tell by the skid marks that she was racing), got another car, it broke down, and then got another car...she had everything handed to her, and i started paying for all my stuff when i got a part time job..but karma has come back around..my sis quit college, got an apartment of her own, that she's not going to be able to pay for much long unless she gets a full time job..and if she can't pay for her car, my dad's taking it back (my parents are divorced, and my dad helped her the 3rd time around with her car, but she HAS to pay the payments)..so it's horrible, but it makes me feel a little better to know she's getting hit with a hard dose of reality
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • yes my sister has always been treated differently. My mom would always say shes the baby so she doesn't have to do house work or pretty much anything. Even now at 21 she does everything for her. It doesn't bother me as much now as it used to.

    nautired

    Answer by nautired at 12:30 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • umm i dont know if she plays favorites..but i am the oldest of 3 other siblings and it seems if something goes wrong its automatically my fault...she makes it seem like nothing they do is wrong...everything is my fault and responsibility ..and im getting pretty fucking sick of it if ud like the truth
    mommy16love

    Answer by mommy16love at 1:21 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • I need more info. Are you a middle child? Is your brother the baby? It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY that she missed your wedding. Hands down. If it were my daughter I'd have risked getting fired. However, to some extent it sounds like middle child syndrome (I had it too). My little sister is the baby, and much of the time my big sister and I feel that she's the favorite. Sadly, we are pretty much waiting for her to end up the pregnant teen (we hope it doesn't happen, she's just a little out of control from being spoiled) so my mom will snap out of it, and appreciate us a little more. My big sister is more sensitive than I am too, so she's having some real issues wondering if she's loved. No parent is perfect. I'm sorry you feel that way. From what I've read about birth order, the oldest is generally extra competitive, the middle feel left out and neglected, and the baby is a free spirit and generally less responsible.
    brookebella

    Answer by brookebella at 1:25 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

  • They favor my brothers but I have learned that kind of love comes at a price its like sell your soul to get somewhere with them. And I figure its her loss.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:03 PM on Apr. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.