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had a very rough week but am i wrong for being so mad at the hubby?

the week started great we found out tuesday we are having a boy which was awesome then wedsday it all went down hill my grandfather took my girls for the afternoon they played all afternoon and he was fine but 20 miin after he dropped them back home he had a stroke and passed away 6 hrs later from a heart attack when i came home from the hospital that night my husband was sleeping and couldnt be botherd to talk to me to calm me down because he had been on the cell phone with his friends down in nyc and still hasnt helped me deal with this loss and then this morning easter we got up @ 7 am with the kids and he got right on the phone and hasnt gotten off and its going on 10 amhe has completly ignored us all morning am i wrong for being ferious with him?

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Asked by nikkilynn1 at 9:49 AM on Apr. 4, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (18)
  • No I would ask him what is so important he cannot help his family? Hope your day gets better and sorry for your loss!!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:00 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • It's not his job to "calm" you down. Yes, support is great but what can he do? Maybe this is his way of dealing with it.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 10:08 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • thank you pink dragon and sarap he never shows support not even when i misscarried back in november. he expects me to support him but he refuses to return the favor!

    Answer by nikkilynn1 at 10:13 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Men handle things/situation differently than women

    What do you want him to do? Ask him what you want him to do? 

    If you want him to just listen to you than sit him down and have that conversation.  In the end you have to handle the passing of your grandfather on your own.  No one else can help you. You have to deal with the lost.

    Sorry for your lost.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • No, you're not wrong. He is being an ass. Husbands are supposed to support you, not ignore you. Next time he's off his cell phone, hide it. (just for a little while)

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:32 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • If it were me, I would've ripped the cell phone from his hands and thrown it across the room, then told him he was being an asshole and I needed a fucking hug. But I have problems with inhibition when it comes to my emotions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • well i have hidden his phone befor and i have thrown it befor and i too have anger issuses when it comes to my emotions and needs not being met shortly after posting this i went into the kitchen hungup his phone ripped his bluetooth out of his ear and told im i need some support i need him to make a choice his family or his phone and told him why iam so pissed and gave him 5 mins to make his choice he got off the phone but still hasnt come in to spend time with us but then he also knows im pissed and to keep distance for a while lol

    Answer by nikkilynn1 at 10:39 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • People deal with loss differently. He's one that doesn't seem to want to give it much of his time. It's just how some people deal. They think if they ignore it, it's not happening and will go away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • How long have you two been married? Hasn't he always been this way?

    Answer by louise2 at 11:02 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry for your loss-
    maybe you should see about a few counseling sessions for you and your husband, maybe it will help- :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

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