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Our church is too loud and Kassie won't let others hold her. What should I do?

We go to a church that is pretty loud, especially during the music part. But, even during the preaching it sounds like he is yelling. Partly because he is - he is a very excitable preacher. Anyway, Kassie will not go to anyone else for longer than 5 minutes. Not even to my husband. So, I am not sure what to do with her. If I leave her in the nursery, they will most likely call me out of the service because she is crying. I can't take her in the service with me because it's too loud. But, I want to go to church! I haven't been to church since before Christmas. Partly because my husband never felt like going and partly because we would forget. But we really want to start going back again. And even my son is asking to go back to church. But, I don't know what to do about Kassie. My Mom says the reason she will not go to someone else is because I hold her too much. Though I don't really believe that, I am starting to wonder. LOL

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Asked by CaptivatedByGod at 10:56 AM on Apr. 4, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 6 (108 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Should I pump and bring a bottle to church with me so they can feed her if she starts to cry? What if that doesn't work? I don't know the right thing to do and I'm torn between mainstream advice and AP advice. I want to be careful who I ask because I want advice that is sensitive to Kassie's need to be near me, but also sensitive to my need to be in church. I miss it so much. I miss the worship. I miss the awesome preaching. I miss the great sounding praise band. I miss seeing the excitement in the people around me. I miss my son being able to be with kids his own age and still learn about God. And not only that, I feel horrible on Sundays when we go out and I see people in their church clothes and I know that I have not been to church. I am afraid they will see me and judge me and think I'm not a Christian or something. Before we had Kassie we didn't really have an excuse and I could see me feeling guilty for not going then.

    Answer by CaptivatedByGod at 10:57 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I think some moms(not bashing) are more prone to holding and being more attentive to their 1st child, I was.I also know now after 5kids, 4 babies that a little crying isn't bad for them, If you don't trust your church to hold & watch her you need to find another one.They should be able to watch her no matter what.They are sapposed to be ready for those situations as you are NOT the first mom to have a baby like this.So if you can bring yourself to pump a bottle and bring a binky and let go for 45 minutes I can tell you it's so worth being in church for the entire sermon!Pray on it last but not least,Happy Easter, He has rissen~!~

    Answer by Stefono at 11:08 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I think it depends a little on the people in your church nursery. When I worked in ours, I didn't mind crying/screaming babies, lol. Maybe if you go back and spend time IN the nursery for the first couple of times, she will start to outgrow her attachment to you (eventually) and get used to the surroundings there. And yes, I would supply a bottle of breast milk for her. Good luck. Remember, this is short term.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 11:12 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • If you want AP advice, get the heck out of the answers section. First, if you would like to bring her to church with you, try. It may not bother her as much as you're afraid. Second, you can stay in the nursery with her for a while if you like, just to get her used to it, and to ease your mind. We don't leave our infants in the nursery. We have a large church, and we have four "under 2" nurseries, one for noncrawling babies, a crawler room, a toddling room, and a good walker room. We wait until they are crawling and then start. If you are pumping anyway, then leave a bottle. I never do, because I don't pump. I get there early, and feed her, then we go to church. If they cant' care for my baby without her crying, then they don't need to care for her. Most babies in our nurseries do not cry, because they are very well taken care of.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Can you not keep her with you during the service? How old is she? Do you have a sling or a wrap? I'd probably try attending service and keeping her with me until she was a bit older. Is this not allowed at your church, or is it just something you'd rather not do?

    Answer by Krysta622 at 11:49 AM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Well, she is 6 weeks old. And it isn't like they can't handle crying babies, it's more like they prefer not to let the babies cry. I don't usually pump. In fact, I don't even own a pump. But, I didn't know if it would be the best idea to help her be comfortable with another caregiver. The people in our nursery are very good with infants. But, they won't just let them cry the entire time the parent is gone.
    I do have a sling. I wear her all the time, but I'm afraid that the service will be too loud for her. The music is pretty loud after all. We can keep our kids with us in church if we want to. I don't mind at all. I just don't want to her hurt her ears.

    Answer by CaptivatedByGod at 12:39 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • It won't hurt her ears. Sit towards the back so if she starts to cry then you can slip out real quick. At that age my kids all slept through the service. From your first post I thought she was older, like 7 or 8 months. Our church also has a nursing mothers room that has a radio that we can tune into the service. Maybe you can ask if something like that is possible. You are most likely not the only nursing mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Put a little hat on her that will cover her ears, get those larger soft baby headbands and pull it over her ears, I usually had my baby laying on my chest so one ear was totally against me & hearing my heartbeat and had a blanket in my hand to quick cover the other ear if I needed to. I never stopped going just because I had a tiny baby - all our kids were in church before they were 2 weeks old. I wouldn't put a baby that tiny in the nursery just yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • OK, you have an older child, right? By now, your baby is probably very used to all the noise he makes. My daughter is almost 9 weeks old and will sleep through anything, no matter how loud it is. And trust me, my 3 year old can be loud. At 6 weeks old, I'm sure your daughter will probably sleep through the service. My husband and I are talking about going back to church, and I will keep my daughter with me until she's probably crawling.

    Answer by Journey311 at 3:03 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • we kept out daughter with us the entire time. our service was also loud and to our surprise she slept through the entire thing.

    Answer by sammiismommy at 4:00 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

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