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Would you be mad?

My SO was supposed to get off work at around 12:30, no biggie, they are busy today I figured he'd be later than that, we're supposed to be going to our friends for a BBQ and egg hunt with all the kids, well his mom calls and says she's coming up bringing a ham for dinner, she knew well in advance that we had plans somewhere else, so I was irritated about that, but whatever, we explained to our friends that we might have to cut it short.

Then my SO calls me and tells me that his kids mom called and said she had people coming over in 30 minutes so she couldn't bring their son home, we'd been waiting ALL morning for her to bring him home, she always brings him back home at 10-11 on holidays, so now she expects my SO to drive half way and ruin the plans that we had with our friends (their kids have been all day to do this egg hunt with us), I'm livid, and I told him if he does her that favor....CONT.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • CONT....that he can sit here at home with his mom while the kids and I go to the BBQ, and tonight he'd probably be sleeping alone. His kids mom doesn't do ANYTHING for their son, she picks him up on the weekend sometimes, and this is ONE thing that she has to do, and she's a failure at it too...am I overreacting? Or do I have the right to be irritated in this situation?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • OP-ohh, and his mom knows I'm allergic to ham, yet she insists on bringing it to MY house to cook and since we have the BBQ planned but will be missing the it, I don't have anything to eat for Easter dinner now! Nice lady, huh?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I'm allergic to pork and my whole in law family prefers ham to turkey, but every holiday my MIL makes a ham and a turkey so I don't feel left out. She never complains, just always makes sure that there is plenty of food I can eat too.

    I think you were too harsh on your husband. You're mad at your MIL and your husband's ex. You took it out on your husband. Don't put him in the middle of all of this drama. Just roll with the punches and make your family time together fun and memorable. Cherish the time you have with your husband and kids and don't make this holiday any more stressful for your husband than it already is.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 5:13 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I would be very up set, I would tell the mother inlaw that you have plans that were already made so she is more then welcome to come over next Sunday and cook the ham, and as for the husband doing the favor for his ex, I would just leave and let your kids enjoy there Easter.
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 5:17 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • First .. I would tell his mother "I'm sorry, but we have other plans. We will not be home, so we will have to do the ham dinner another time." I wouldn't let someone decide on their own, knowing full well we had plans, that they're going to come over and have dinner at our house. No, they don't get to decide that and ruin our plans.

    Second .. I would tell my husband that he needs to stand up to his child's mom. That she needs to know that she has to take responsibility and hold up her side of the arrangements. I would then say "We'll be at the BBQ if you decide to come." and leave. I wouldn't put up with the child's mother ruining our plans either.

    Put your foot down and make it known that this behaviour by both women is unacceptable. You had plans, so you go to that BBQ and you have fun. Don't let anyone ruin it for you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:43 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I feel for you, but really it's not all his fault. My ex sounds a lot like his. No matter what I do, I can't help it. I get mad we fight nothing changes except horrible drop offs and DD doesn't need that. He's stuck with her and her BS, don't blame him for her actions. As for the MIL, she sounds lonely and inconsiderate. Also not really his fault, but it'll be easier for him to create some boundaries with her.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 7:12 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I would be mad too. That's horrible for those people to just step on you, and not care about your plans. Maybe you could pick the son up while he is at work? The mom probably wouldn't like that, but really who cares. She could have brought him home on time, and then it wouldn't have been a problem.

    As for the ham thing, I would tell her that you don't want it in your house, because you can't eat it, and you aren't going to allow her to come cook it at your house, knowing you can't eat it. I know how you feel. I have a history of migraines, and a list of things that trigger them. DH's family many times will get something they know I can't have, then tell me it's all in my head, and I should eat it anyways. I'm allergic to broccoli and cauliflower. His grandma knows this, and always tries to sneak it into my food to prove that I'm making it up. Ugh. People can be so damn mean sometimes. Put your foot down.
    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 1:54 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

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