Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do i shun him?

I was pregnant at 17, my bf(father of the baby) ran away. with the help of my parents, I went back to school though it wasn't easy,he came to see us when the boy was 8, when I requested for his contribution toward our son's education, he disappeared again. Believe me!' there were rough times but I conquered. After hiding for 15 years, bf appeared and is asking me to give him my son, the worst thing is that we don't know where he lives or work and he refused to disclose any information about himself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Apr. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Shun isn't the right word. Ignore him, yes, and if he threatens you or to take your son, file a police report against him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I'm not sure exactly what you mean by shun, (I know the dictionary meaning but IRL it can be taken differnt ways), but I would not let him see your son away from you - let him see the child at your home, or at your parents home, or in a public place, with at least one other adult around. He really has zero rights to see him. I personally would not allow it at all. Is he on the birth certificate? If not, then no contact, would by my rule.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I would tell him over my dead body, I am handing over MY SON. Is he trying to bring you to court about full custody?

    Answer by louise2 at 5:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I'd ask my son what he wants to do

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:54 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • HELL NO!! He doesn't get to see him. He doesn't get custody. He doesn't get unsupervised visitation. He'll have to go to court for it so be prepared to back up his lack of interest and his disappearing act. If you give him your son he'll run again and take the child with him. I'd tell him to F**k off. But keep records of anything he says in case you need it later. That includes phone messages don't delete them under any circumstances. Copy all written communication and make note that he won't say if he has a job, phone, address, etc. This whole situation is raising one hell of a red flag. Don't ignore that fact, but do ignore him.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 5:59 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • noooo i would never give him my son.. i dont care if he became a million-air, if he loved his son he would of never flet.. you will be crazy to give him your son...

    Answer by yamil519 at 6:00 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Wow, just out of the blue he wants you to GIVE him your son? That's crazy! I think if he really wants a second chance to be a Father he could ask you for visitation and then go from there. But just give your son to him? That just doesn't even make sense.

    Answer by Adelicious at 7:38 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Find a lawyer to help you.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:49 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • That sounds really suspicious. If he's really changed, he'll be open to having some visitations (supervised), instead of just demanding custody of somebody he doesn't even know. Get some legal advice.

    Answer by brookebella at 12:04 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.