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anyone have a husband who almost left but you worked things out?

How are you doing now? Do you still have any fears or worries that he may leave again? Are you happy in your marriage? How did you work things out?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Apr. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • im going through that now, he almost left me for a 19 drunk slut, she is like a 24 hr burger king...always open and have it your way...well we decided to try to work things out and 3 months later i still cant trust him, i feel insecure and it starts fights.. maybe we hvent been in it long enough to know but i feel its no fix to this betrayal
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • all i can say is u 2 need to make sure u are putting your all into trying to make it work. i would suggest getting the movie "fireproof" along with the book "the love dare". i own the dvd and watch it atleast once every couple of days. it helps u to remember the importance of your vows also it reminds u that love is not a feeling but a choice. i hope everything works out for u. it wont get better if u dont put your all into it. good luck and please get this dvd & book it is really worth it. walmart.com has the book on sale for about $9, dvd for about $11 and overstock.com has the book for $10, dvd is also $10 i believe. oh and to answer your questions yes dh & i was on the verge of splitting up but we held out and worked hard to keep our marriage together. some days it was hard some days it was easy but so far we are doing good. as far as the worrying if he will ever leave u again i say u cant worry about that until it happens
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 6:25 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • OP-
    I did the love dare and watched the movie. My husband cheated many times before we got married and we worked through it before we got married. But when he almost left me I felt that insecurity again. I'm just feeling right now that I will be the only one putting 100% in this marriage, and feeling like he never will. I'm feeling like he will just always go with what makes him feel good and always be self-centered. I guess I'm feeling a little self centered wanting a selfless husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • oh wow sorry to hear that op. i dnt think u are selfish for wanting a selfless hubby b/c when u are married it is no longer about "what makes me feel good" its about "whats best for all of us". u can not be mad at yourself it is his fault that he keeps going outside of yall marriage bed. honestly i would probably be thinking about leaving him b/c im afraid of catching an STD u have kids to live for ya know. u guys need to work as a team in order for your marriage to thrive. idk exactly what to say b/c at this point the ball is in his court to either act right or not. just know that u deserve to be respected. i also know u want your marriage to work. whats his excuse for continuing to cheat? even though there is no excuse for that.. does he think the grass is greener on the other side? if he put all his energy and attention into his wife instead of cheating u guys might actually be able to be a happy family.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 6:50 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • OP
    My husband did not cheat since we have been married. He almost left because he was unhappy and thought we weren't meant for eachother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • oh ok thats great.. so what is the problem?? why doesnt he want to take the steps n put in the necessary energy needed to get yall back on the right track??? its not going to get better or change for the good unless he does his part by trying.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 11:13 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Op-
    I can see some effort. But still there were things that I had addressed that he seems to be avoiding. Maybe he doesn't know how to respond. Maybe he doesn't get that he failed me in areas as well. When I was trying to work through the marriage before he decided to work through things I owned up to my failures and made an effort yo fix those things. Somehow we seem to be sliding into the way things use to be. Partly my fauly, partly his, but still I still feel like when I address his shortcomings he becames defensive rather than owning up to his failures and trying to make t hings work on his part. It seems to always be the blame game, blaming me for his shortcomings. I just wish he woudl reach out and try to figure out what going on with me, how he can connect with me etc.... does that make sense?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • i get what u are saying op. like i said before he HAS to man up to HIS short comings and TRY HIS HARDEST to reconnect with u. u can only do so much op. a marriage takes 2 ppl working together to succeed not just one person trying to make it work. u said u watched fireproof and read the love dare take some of the basic ideas from there and run with them. lead your heart. love is a choice. it takes effort and is not to be taken lightly. these are lil advice u and dh need to act on, especally him.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 1:13 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

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