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Pregnant, should I tell wife?

I am pregnant by my ex-boyfriend. He was enaged at the time were dating and now is married. We do not talk to have any contact with eachother as he wants nothing to do with our child.( Out of sight out of mind) He was cheating on his wife with me and several other woman. I will be sueing for child support and a DNA test will prove he is the father. Currently they are not living with eachother because she is in the military, she will be coming home this month. They are trying to start a family once she gets home. My question is should I tell his wife what is going on or should I wait untill the baby is born and let the court system do all the work? Please no non-judgmental or harsh response. Thank you.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Apr. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (36)
  • According to those who think you should avoid the drama, let me remind you the guy is doing all of this behind her back now, do you really think he's going to tell her, "ummm hey baby, i got a girl pregnant, so everythings cool right?" No he's going to hid that too... He's an A$$, tell her, then she can deal with him, and continue to take care of yourself, and the baby... Make sure you get support.. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I would tell her

    Answer by hisblueeyes at 9:32 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Yes! Tell her as soon as you can.

    Answer by MLM0503 at 9:33 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • If I were her, I wouldn't want to hear any of it from you. I'd want to hear it from him. I think you'd be wise to stay out of their relationship and let them work it out. Do what you need to do to get support for your child and let them worry about their lives. This is an unfortunate situation for all involved, but there are things you can do to avoid making it worse. Just deal with the courts and with the man. Leave her out of it.

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:34 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • She won't listen to you until she has proof. Let the court system deliver the news.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:34 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • She needs to know what a jerk she's married to... Then she can move on and hopefully find a good man to start a family, not a scumbag...JMO

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • How far along are you? Does she know,at all, that you are pregnant? Does she know about your relationship prior to her marriage to him?

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 9:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • if I was the wife and you the ex-girlfriend HELL NO would I want to hear it from you. When the baby is born, have a DNA test to get your child support and get on with your life. No need in dragging it out and trying to become friends with his wife. If he doesn't want anything to do with the kid, there's not much you can do aobut that. just get what you're entitled to and move on. and people don't give me that crap that a child deserves 2 parents!! sometimes it's not the best situation.

    And to everyone saying she should know so the wife can move on's not the exGFs problem to let her know. She needs to find out on her own and focus on her and the baby's health. DRAMA!! geez

    Answer by calliesmommie at 9:37 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I'm thinking you should just let her find out on her own. Honestly, if my husband's ex girlfriend came up to me and said that she was pregnant with his baby and that he'd been cheating on me...I'd have to ask my husband before believing it and if he told me no...I'd take his word over hers until proven otherwise. I would want a DNA test to be done before I'd ever take anyone's word over my husband's. Therefore...I think it'd be pointless to say anything to'd just stir up drama. If he's any kind of man (which it doesn't sound like he's much of one, no offense) he'd tell her himself before the court got involved, as I'm sure he's expecting to be sued for child support if you haven't already given him a head's up.

    Answer by jcarvalho at 9:40 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • She prob wont listen, but I would tell her

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 4, 2010