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Sensitive pregnant mom here, did I take this the wrong way?

We were in church this morning with our adopted son, he is African American we are white, and during the passing of the peace, an African American woman we don't know comes up to me and says hi to my son and then says to me "you don't know what to do with his hair do you?" Now his hair did need to be brushed but didn't look horrible for a 2 year old's hair, and it certainly didn't look like it wasn't taken care of. We did a ton of research when we first dopted him and are well aware of the proper ways to care for his hair. I was upset that someone woul deven say that, let alone during church. Am I being over sensitive due to pregnancy hormones? :)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Apr. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (30)
  • Yes, I think she was being sincere at wanting to be helpful

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I would had found it rude too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Then wouldn't she have asked if we needed help instead of implying we didn't know how to?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • I would have kinda been offended but I bet she just wanted to help

    Answer by LuvingMy3Girls at 11:06 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • that was definatly rude

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • well white people adopting black kids have been an issue with people for a long while now...mainly to black people i guess they (i am black n white..but i say they because i dont feel this way)...feel that a white person for one does not know how to manage coarse/curly/nappy hair..because white people's hair is more managable and straighter..and also a white person wouldn't really know how to teach a black be proud that they are black,they just don't understand the concept that black children need to be reminded about who they are,they need ot be taught about they ancestors,and also know who they really came from.I dont think she meant it in a rude way she was probably just thinking about those things when she saw that little boys hair and saw that he was with a white family

    Answer by mommy16love at 11:09 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • to and their ** sorry

    Answer by mommy16love at 11:10 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • Well, if she didn't follow up with ideas on how to fix the issues she perceived then, I would think she was just being rude. Being helpful requires actually helping.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 11:11 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • also if you know how to do braids you can do that...or you can take him somewhere to get his hair braided or cut..get him a nice little fade thats what my mom does with her boys...some hair products that might work for him if he has an afro or his hair isnt buzzed magic,stay so fro.those are the only 2 i know for boys.hope i helped

    Answer by mommy16love at 11:15 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

  • "Now his hair did need to be brushed but didn't look horrible for a 2 year old's hair"

    You said it yourself. You didn't do his hair and you took him out in public. In your situation, you have to brace yourself for scrutiny. I bet you and your husband did your own hair before church, correct? Why not your baby's hair?

    I think she was making an observation, and I would probably think the same thing.

    Answer by BaisMom at 11:24 PM on Apr. 4, 2010

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