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my 8 year old step daughter asked what sex is? what should i do?

should i ask her mother what and if she wants me to tell her anything or just tell her what i plan to tell my girls.. one is 5. my step daughter is already coming over telling my 5 year old about french kissing and such so i wonder how much she already knows. I don't want to overstep boundaries but i don't want her always coming over teaching my 5 year old things she learns in school, so if i tell her then at least both my girls have the same information? plus me and her mom don't talk, it would be really awkward..


Asked by TaiM at 7:07 AM on Apr. 5, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (95 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • Talk to her dad, but I would also want to err on the side of telling her, so she has accurate info. When they ask, it's time to give the info. Ideally, it would be later, but hey. She's asking and she'll ask around if she can't get it from you.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 8:33 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I would go to your husband. It's his daughter, too, not just her mom's. He can also make the decision, or if he deems it appropriate to find out what mom wants done, he can and should be the one to go to mom and talk to her. It's not that I feel it's not your place, but I feel that he shouldn't put you in that position of having to go to her. She came to you, so now you go to dad and just tell him "Sally asked me what sex was. I overheard her telling Jane about french kissing, and I think she may already have a few ideas about sex, but I also don't think they're necessarily right. How do you want me to handle it?" He can tell you what to do, if anything. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:01 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • This girl TRUSTS you! Talk to her, if she already knows some information, then all you will be doing is filling in some gray area's. Part of a stepmama's role is being an outside person that the child can talk to, BE THAT PERSON! She will thank you for it eventually!! If she is wondering these things, and curious enough to ask then age appropriate information is a must, she is bringing it up to be because she trusts you, go with it.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 8:11 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I would go to your husband or if you're on good terms with the mother her. You don't want to start an all out feud between them. If she was older I would say just talk to her but since she's 8 she'll probably repeat everything you say to everyone she can.

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 8:28 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • just tell her sex is what makes babies. You don't need to go into details at eight but you need to start answering her questions truthfully and simply so that the two of you can establish a relationship where she knows she can come to you and you will give her straighht, correct answers. THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT to your daughter


    Answer by mamak57 at 8:58 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • ask her what she thinks it is, that will give you an idea on what she knows and what she wants to know

    Answer by Bjoycassell at 9:01 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I would not talk to her without talking to her dad or mother first.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I'd keep it simple and just say sex is something married people do when they want to have children and leave it there. If she asks more, then answer but don't drag it out or get too deep. Make age appropriate remarks but not a long speech

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • You need to run anything you want to say by your husband and have him run it by the mother. You don't want to stir up the hornet's nest so to speak by overstepping your boundaries as a step parent. She needs someone to talk to her about sex, about when it is appropriate to talk about it, to whom she should talk about it with, and what the boundaries of content should be. It is wonderful that she feels comfortable with you and will talk to you about it. But the worst thing you could do is over step that invisible line that every step parent has to toe so as not to walk on the birth parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I would tell her. To hell what her mom and dad think. it's obvious she already has some information so give her the correct information. You know these days 11 year olds are getting pregnant so I think she should know before she ends up as one of them. It doesn't have to be alot of graphic information just enough to answer the question honestly. love between a man and a woman when they are both ready and mature enough to handle the risks. Including diseases and babies.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:44 AM on Apr. 5, 2010