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How do you react when your 4 year daughter

tells you that she does not love you while you are trying to get her to do someting she does not like to do like go to bed, brush her teeth and so on?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:49 AM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • Typical kid tactic. When mine say that, I tell them "well, you do not have to love me, but I love you". they usually feel pretty ban for saying it.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:50 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • that is so normal. I always said thats too bad cause i love you . or if that dosen't seem right say you don't have to love me but you do have to take a bath.

    Answer by mom2snsb at 8:00 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Tell her "Well then you are gonna have to move out, and find a job and get a car and be a grown up, go pack your bags. I can't have anyone who doesn't love me in my house, and you said that you don't love me, so you must be a grown up and it's time for you to move out.". I am not sure what was going on but my son who is five now, said that to me and I told him this and he straightened right up. Obviously I am not going to make my 3-5 year old move out and get a job, but he had to think ahead, what would he do if mom wasn't there to help him get breakfast? Clean clothes? A bath?! :) I opened the door for him (it was summer outside) and told him to get out, and think about it. He stood in the drive way for a few minutes and then came back in and gave me a big hug and told me that he was sorry and that he does love me and he never did it again. Lesson learned, I suppose! :)

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 8:18 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I just say "Well, too bad 'cause you're stuck with me and I still love you enough to make you brush your teeth (or whatever horrible act it is)." Or I say, "Love me later, for now, brush your teeth."

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:21 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Yes....ignore the comment, make light of it and focus on the behavior (such as brushing teeth) and then give her a hug and a kiss goodnight!

    Answer by BJoan at 9:38 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I liked the previous answer "Well you dont have to love me, but you do have to brush your teeth."
    I think i will use that one when I run into this dilemma. Thanks for the good question!

    Answer by jenellemarie at 5:16 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Mine's a bit younger, 3, but she did say it once. I didn't respond directly, but put a different word to her feeling. She was angry that we had to go inside from her new sandbox, and I said something like I know you're sad that we have to leave the sandbox. I know you're angry at mommy for telling you it's time to go. It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to say things that aren't nice. She said okay, mommy, i love you, and I want to keep playing with my sand. *sigh* The less reaction the better, I say.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 8:12 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • i tell mine thats too bad b/c she still has to do whatever it is she doesn't want to. she than resorts to well you're not very nice mommy. at which point i tell her if she thinks that it means i'm doing my job right :)

    Answer by jessil83 at 11:00 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

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