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How can I find out if he has ever really been married before?

I would like to know if anyone can tell me how do I find out if my fiance has been married before. He says that he was married in California. Alot of things about him just don't add up for me. I need to know this before I marry him. Is there a website or a number I can call. Also how do find out if he really severed in the Navy? This is the one I really want to know about. I just find alot of the things and stories he tells me to be way off. Can anyone help me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I can only tell you this. If you have this many questions about the honesty of this man, you should not even consider marrying him. Trust is a key ingredient in any marriage, and when you start off with this many doubts. it is not a good sign for the success of yours.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:24 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • If you know where he lived in CA you could check the county courthouse website. I'd check sites like and to see if he's there. I told a friend of mine that it's worth paying to have him checked out if you have any doubts when his daughter found Mr Right. He didn't listen and the guy took her and her parents for almost everything they had before he found a new victim. Please protect yourself and invest in having him checked out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:24 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • RUN RUN RUN. If you have more questions than answers and you feel the need to a background check on someone you're going to marry RUN. Your gut is telling you this is not a good idea so listen. That being said if you're still going to pursue this call veteran affairs and see if there is anyway they can tell you what to do. I'm pretty sure that service records are private though. As far as him being married I would call the court house, or county clerks office. I would also do a background check to see his credit score, and criminal record. But to be honest if you're having this many doubts save the money and get as far away from him as possible. Women are wanting this "proof that something isn't good or right when really all you need is that feeling in the pit of your stomach it's usually right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • There are a lot of websites where you can run a background check on someone. It will probably cost you about $35, but you should be able to see marriage and divorce records, etc.

    As far as whether he served in the Navy or not - that's easy. Ask him to see his DD2-14. There is NO way he served in ANY branch of the military and NOT have one of these, unless, of course, he's still serving. That's what you get when you get out that says what rate and rank you were, what medals, if any, that you earned, your dates of service, and if you got an honorable discharge, etc.

    There will be NO excuse he can come up with that will justify not having this, and it's something that you don't just "get rid of". (btw, it's a crime to hide or lie about military service on a job application, so if he's lying about this, not good...)

    Trust me on this!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:02 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • cont

    Though, I have to say, if there are this many things about him that aren't "adding up", then I think your "gut" is trying to tell you something and you should NOT be marrying this guy.

    Oh - I should add, it doesn't matter what sort of discharge he got, when he got it (unless he served in, say, WWI or maybe WWII...), whether he got out because he was hurt and medically retired, served a full career and retired, was kicked out, got out at the end of an enlistment, etc.

    If he says he lost it, stress to him how important it is that he have a copy, and ask him to contact Veteran's Affairs to get a new copy....

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:05 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • While I can understand wanting to check to see if someone has been married before (he would need his divorce judgment or the wife's death cert, btw, to get married again, to prove that he is no longer married), I think if there are a lot of things that just don't add up for you, instead of trying to chase leads and verify all his stories, you should instead think about WHY you want to do that. If I were having trouble believing things my boyfriend told me, I wouldn't waste time trying to track down the truth. I'd trust my gut, which is clearly trying to tell you something is wrong here, and just decide what to do from there. Do you really want to be with someone you don't trust and are constantly looking for proof of whether he's being honest or lying? I know I wouldn't.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:11 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • If you doubt this many things about him, then you shouldn't be getting married.

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 1:55 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

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