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How do you get your self worth back? ..a vent...sorry...long...

I spent almost 25 years being emotionally abused and I'm so used to keeping things to myself for so long I'm not sure where to start. I've never been able to make friends to start with as I've always been really shy and not at all outgoing. After the divorce I cry almost daily as it's mostly relief but I feel so lost. I keep telling myself I have 4 gorgeous kids why am I complaining? I feel so stupid some days . I felt guilty buying a bag of socks a month ago when my old socks had just one too many holes to patch. Am I weird to think this or is there really another side to this mess? I wish I could just jump out there and make a truck load of friends to hang out with - I was never allowed that courtesy married and am really stuck. How does one get out of my hole i'm in? I feel far from pretty and unwanted...


Asked by momof4kids257 at 10:49 AM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (253 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Think about the place you are the most comfortable or the place where you think you might be the most at ease. Go to that place. If it's a park, take your children there and sit on a bench and watch them play. There will be other moms there doing the same thing. Introduce yourself. Just give your first name, if that's all you can easily do. Ask the other mom her name. Then ask her about her family, how many children she has, does she come to the park often--the smallest of chit chat. If you are more comfortable around old folks, visit a retirement home and ask for the name of someone who doesn't have company. That's a wonderful way to come out of your shell. About all you will have to do is say hello. Those people are so lonely, they will tell you their life history. The trick is to start out doing something which is different for yourself by not too threatening and where you can leave any time you want to.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:44 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I was where you are about 2 years ago. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep moving forward. It is not easy to let go of the pain and anger from being abused. The first step is realizing that you are not to blame, it is not something you did or did not do. It was him, plain and simple, the blame for the abuse lies with him.
    I would recommend that you contact your local domestic violence shelter, and ask about counseling. Most of them offer it at no charge, and honestly speaking, my counselor was worth her weight in gold! Getting into counseling, when I got out of my relationship was the best decision I made for both me and my son. It helped me to see, that I really am a worthwhile person! Hey in the last 2 years, I have actually learned to love me! And that is a huge accomplishment, that I know you will have to!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • All you can do is take it one day at a time. Tell yourself that you are a wonderful person, and prove your self worth to yourself. Don't second guess yourself about anything, and don't feel guilty about anything. It's going to be a long process, but it's all you can do for yourself. Good luck.

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 1:40 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Thank you all of you.. Not sure where to begin but I guess I'm gonna have to start somewhere... scary..
    I also have a goofy somewhat weird question. I've had the same hairstyle for 40 years. Long,straight either pulled into a ponytail or barrette. I'm wanting shorter hair but am chicken. I want a hairstyle that I don't have to fuss too much with as I am not that coordinated anyhow in that department. I cannot remember when I had bangs last - but according to the picture albums... it was with son number 2 about 20 years ago.. wow am I a relic or what ? told ya it was a weird question...

    Answer by momof4kids257 at 4:49 PM on May. 3, 2010