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i dont think he really wants to...even when he says he does...help

i am 21 will be my fiance is 25 we have a 16 month old baby... he proposed when our son was a few months old... we have been together going on 5 years we had a date but it was too soon and the plans were not coming together right and his sister had a wedding and my mother had a wedding around the same time we were thinking so we called it off it was to much of a hassle to juggle everything... now that there is nothing to juggle i tried to set another date but he just says maybe... and i asked if he thought that we would be married in the nex 4-5 years and all he said was is a possobility... i told him if he didnt want to get married to just tell me so i wont keep trying to think of things for it... plenty of people live happy with no marriage...but he says he wants to ...he just doesnt know when it will happen... i dont know what to think im kinda confused to me it sounds like a no go... can you help me out?

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jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 2:27 PM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think in some cases, marriage changes things, and ruins relationships. I don't believe that marraige is for everyone. I have been with my fiance for a little over 2 years, we have two kids and we live together, and I want to get married..but things are so great the way they are, I think we both fear that marriage will change things...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like a no-go, as you said. If he really wanted to be married, he'd set a date with you, and keep it.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 2:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Ask him why he is unsure about the date you like. If he's serious he needs to set a date. Marriage doesn't "change EVERYTHING." It changes your tax exemptions (you get more money back). It changed quite a bit for me and my dh, but that is only b/c we weren't living together beforehand (we're Catholic). So, the only way things changed for us, were in good ways.
    I still believe everybody should have to take marriage classes beforehand, regardless of religious affiliation. There is a lot to be learned from them.
    brookebella

    Answer by brookebella at 2:49 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • It sounds like he doesn't want to if he doesn't have to. Sad. He's comfortable and getting lazy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I agree with Paukey....he seems very noncommittal at this time. I wonder why you keep asking him. Leave it alone and if he doesn't start making plans than go from there. I honestly wouldn't be pushing it, sounds like he's not interested therefore I think you've already got your answer. Good luck hon.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 2:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Yeah, pretty sure my best friend was in this situation last year. She and b/f of 5 years finally tied the knot, and now she's sincerely regretting it. Her DH doesn't work, but the money he collects from his rich grandmother doesn't go to help pay the bills, mortgage, car payments, or child support, it goes to building his race-car. My friend pays his child support FOR him.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:22 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

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