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Do you and DH/SO have different opinions on how many kids you want? How do you deal with it?

DH has one son, and together we have one daughter. We don't get to see his son very often as they live out of state, but usually get him 2-3 times a year. Now the problem is that I really don't want to have any more than two kids. I think I could "handle" three, if he really, really wanted another with me (meaning he would have 4 total), but he is crazy and thinks we need to have 5-6 kids! (meaning he would have 6-7). He is 27 and is ready to start popping them out, one after another, and I don't really know how to tell him that he is crazy if he thinks I'm going to have 5 kids! LOL.

What should I do?!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (8)
  • lol wen i first got wit my dh i told him that i only wanted one baby..but he wanted 3 now that i already have one i think i can do 3 lol...but 5-6 hell no!!!! lol
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 2:48 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I use to want 4, but now that I have 2 I don't think I could do it. DH only wanted 1, but I wanted at least 2 if not more. But now we have 2 girls he wants another one to have a boy, but I am not giving mine no choice I am going to get a pap the 22nd and then I am going to talk about getting my tubes tied to the doctor.
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 2:51 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • My husband is my 2nd marriage. I had 2 boys from my first marriage. My current husband told me when we were dating he wanted 5. I told him we'd have 1 and see how it goes. So we had our son (his first biological) my 3rd. I'm very happy and content with the 3 blessing i have now but he wants another one. I can understand his desire to have another of his own but the idea of 4 kids just seems overwhelming to me. My husband is always reworking our finances. He's very good at it but it scares me to think about the cost of 4 kids. I want to be able to send my kids to college, and allow them to be involved in activites (that cost money) if they want to be. I'm trying to talk some sense into him from that angle. lol. Don't get me wrong, I'd have 10 if I could afford it but in this day and age it's hard.
    angiewith2

    Answer by angiewith2 at 3:15 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Did the two of you talk about it BEFORE marriage? This *is* a before-vows issue, and if you did talk about it, you have to remind him of that conversation.

    If you did NOT...then the two of you need to do a pro's - cons list. Men are good at this, and it will help you both.

    And raise your children to know that they MUST have the "number of kids" discussion before getting married.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:00 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • wow im on the opposite end I want 5 and he wants 3 lol, i told him he really doesnt have a say because its not like he is going to stop if i tell him to keep going if you catch my drift lol, but we will see, we only have 1 right now and she likes all the attention so we will see
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 6:10 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • SO and I have one son. I'd like him to have a sibling oneday, and pretty soon since i'll be 30 this year lol. SO is happy with one for now since we have a tight budget, but he did tell me "we will see where time takes us".
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 7:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • This is one of the decisions you make before marriage, along with religion, financial goals, discipline, etc.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:23 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • My Dh an I married very young and have 2 kids a girl and a boy. They are now 15 and 12. I desperatly want one more and have for 8 years but my husband refuses. Our children have learning difficulties and son has ADHD. It has been a hard hard struggle just to get them to the grades they are now. My husband says we can't have anymore because he says "We just don't mix well". This hurt me down deep, because yes our kids do have some problems but what kid doesn't. He feels our son will never leave home and doesn't want to chance another child that he might have to take care of the rest of his life. But he doesn't know everything I mean the next one could be an Einstien!!
    jharve

    Answer by jharve at 3:42 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

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