Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why are guys such @ssh8l3s??

I was with my ex for 3 years, we had a kid, got married. I got to a point where I was telling him over and over that I was unhappy, that I didn't feel like he cared and he'd talk to me about it and I'd tell him what would make me feel better. I didn't ask him to change himself, just how he interacted with me and ways we could communicate better especially about important components of our relationship. He always told me he understood where I was coming from and that he'd try to work on things. I waited and waited and did everything for him...and felt like I was being used because I was putting all my energy into the relationship and he was doing nothing to help.

So I left him. And we tried to get back together and settled on being friends.

Today he called me and was saying things that sounded like an implication that he had a new girl. He knows that I haven't moved on and I got my feelings hurt

more to come

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • cont.

    and I calmly said that I was going to go and hung up.

    he texted me all fired up saying that there was no need to freak out and who cares if he has someone else anyway...we aren't together. blah blah blah.

    why are guys so insensitive???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • you're talking about one guy and thinkinng that means ALL guys? grow up. and if you're just friends then it's not his job to coddle your feelings. yoiu sound like a 15 year old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • let me tell you i'm here with my family because i recently bought a house here where i use to live. I asked him if he wanted to come because we are having alot of relationship problems, he said no. ok. so i called him he says he dosen't want me to go anywhere or talk to the people i know so i haven't. Yesterday i call him hes at the lake with my kid and some girls and guys so he says! I told him i went to church and at dinner with my family. He gets mad at me calls me a xxxxxxxxxxxxand xxxxxxxxx and breaks up with me!!!!!! The way i see it he was doing something because he has a guilty cansis and blames me for it..
    there all dogs the good ones are married or gay.
    flaka3

    Answer by flaka3 at 5:07 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Most guys don't have the emotional bond that we have and they can move on quicker than we do. Tell him that you'll take calls regarding the child but not about his personal life. As "friends" you invited him to share that info which is why I don't think being friends works well after a relationship. There are just too many raw emotions that can be torn at.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:08 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Men DO have a Y chromosome defect that tends to make them stupid.

    But OP...you walked away from HIM. He's not responsible for the way you feel....YOU are. I don't see him doing anything wrong here. Nor do I see you doing anything wrong in feeling the way you do. This is a situation where there isn't a right or wrong or a winner or a loser. It just IS. You made the decision to walk away, he got over it (unsurprising based on what you wrote) and now you're unhappy about that. He's never going to understand that...don't expect him to because he's not wired for it.

    Just let it and him go, inasmuch as you can with a child in common. And one thing that's not clear...are you still married? You need to get that settled one way or another.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:11 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I don't see what you did wrong here. It's human to feel a little hurt when your ex moves on. It's not like your flipped out on him, you just said you were done talking and got off the phone. Then HE texts YOU saying all sorts of crazy stuff...yeah honey...just another testament to why you two SHOULDN'T be together. Don't give him your time anymore.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 5:22 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Men are not assholes. You are just hanging out with the wrong ones.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 10:08 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.