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Surrendered wife?

Does anyone use this? Does it work? Bc it seems to me like I would just be doing everything on my own and being way under appreciated.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Um...NO... and there is no way in hell I ever would. Does that mean I never do nice things for my husband for no other reason than I love him? No, but I fond those little things are appreciated much more than when he gets them all the time.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:43 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • maybe i'm slow....... what are you talking about? could you explain it some? lol

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • OMG this is so crazy, I'm dealing with this crap right now. My dh is a recovering alcoholic and a current drug addict. He has put me and the kids through so much, but me talking, yelling, screaming, nagging etc was getting me no where. He was getting mean towards me, blaming me for all of our relationship issues. I'm a sahm and have no money and no where to go. Soooo, starting 2 days ago I surrendered. I gave up on giving a shit if my dh does so many drugs that he dies or goes to jail, because it only pisses him off. In fact, I don't say anything. My controlling man demands a submissive wife. I am to find a job, cook, clean, raise the kids, take care of the pets, sex him up whenever and actually act like I want it (even if I don't), do whatever he says, and always look happy and pleasant. I am to never look upset or annoyed. It's driving me fucking crazy and I feel like putting a bullet in my head. It's not fixing shit.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • It means to be completely submissive to your spouse. Here's a link:


    Answer by -xoxo- at 9:54 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Straight out of my journal...

    Eric's mother is treated like shit and constantly controlled by his father and he has vowed to never be like that.

    When we got together I was the hard-ass:

    I can do what I want, when I want and how I want and who do you think you are to try to tell me otherwise.

    Eric was trying to prove himself as a father, husband and man...prove to me and to himself that not only was he nothing like his father but he was worthy of the woman he loved and the children he'd die for.

    Our marriage almost ended before it got started which really says something when you are dealing with two people who do not believe in divorce except in very specific circumstances.

    We both decided to take a step back. I have relinquished control and our marriage has never been better and let me tell you why...(and I am totally copying and pasting this from another post as I do not want to retype it)


    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:55 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • o ok. well i suppose i am a surrendered wife and it's utter misery so i would not suggest trying it

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:55 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • When I married my husband he had no self confidence. His parents had spent his life verbally beating it out of him.

    He didn't think he deserved better then what he had and he certainly did not think he deserved me or our children. He was terrified he would be a father just like his was.

    I have put my absolute faith in him and his abilities and I see a dramatic change between the man I married and the man I am married to now. Submitting to him showed him that I trusted and believed and him and it also made him WANT to be better for me and his family. He also has been able to prove to everyone, and most importantly himself, that his is capable of anything and he is NOTHING like his wretched father. He is also showing our boys what a man should be for his family.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • Here's the other thing....Eric doesn't take advantage of it. He constantly tells me thank you, how much he appreciates what I do, how much he relies on me even for the most basic of things and how he couldn't do it without me. He shows me how much love and respect he has for me all the time. I was sick a few months ago and he has took over caring for me, the kids and the house. The only thing he expected me to do is get better....there are plenty of wives that are not in submissive relationships that cannot say that.

    We are equals...we simply have different roles which help our family and our marriage function better.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I have a say in all decisions. Eric NEVER makes a decision without us discussing it.

    The fact is, for us, he is the better decision maker. He is more logical and calculating where as I am more emotionally lead.

    He ALWAYS listens to everything I say and bases decisions off what is best for the entire family.

    Him making the final decision does not equate to him getting everything his way nor does it equate to me not having a voice.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

  • I would never be submissive to a man I could not trust, who did not respect me, what I do and my role in our relationship; a man that is irresponsible, inconsiderate and does not wan what is best for his family even when what is best isn't what he wants.

    If Eric left today....I could live. I am an LPN and though I am a SAHM currently my license is still active. I am also only one year away from having my BSN. I know I can live life without him....the fact remains that I do not want to.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:57 PM on Apr. 5, 2010

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