• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I get my 20 mo. old to listen?

My son is 20 mos. old and it doesn't matter what I try he will not listen. Spanking doesn't work and time out was a joke. I've been consistant but nothing works. He runs out in the road, kicks, hits and bites me, tries to push over lamps and the tv.....the list goes on and on. Is this terrible twos? Will this phase pass? Please Mommies I NEED HELP!!!

Answer Question
 
ZachysMom8608

Asked by ZachysMom8608 at 12:05 AM on Apr. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Spanking and time-outs are punishments and psychologists know punishments don't work. They don't stop bad behavior and they don't teach good behavior. Parenting based on punishment isn't effective.

    How do you get your child to obey? Learn new parenting skills. It's not the terrible twos, it's the terrible parenting. You can try books, classes, reading info online, conferences, parenting groups, ect. A great book to start is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. Her website is Star Parenting. The most effective style of parenting is called authoritative parenting.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:10 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Have you tried putting him in a play pen/pack and play for time out? Somewhere out of the way where he doesnt get any interaction? (I avoid using my sons crib for this because I dont want him to associate his bed with discipline). This worked wonders for my 21 month old to curb his screaming (sensitive ears, it was driving me nuts). I would also be calm when disciplining. Sometimes they are looking for attention or a reaction and any reaction will do, even negative ones. I simply tell my son that "we dont..." If he continues, I put him in the pack n play for 2 mins with no toys. When I take him out again, I repeat "we dont..." It took about a week for him to make the connection, but being consistant with it helped.

    Im not sure about anyone elses children this age, but my child just doesnt understand the concept of staying in one spot yet, so I had to figure out a way to contain him.
    Tarinia

    Answer by Tarinia at 12:13 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Gailll I hardly believe that it is bad parenting....... I can tell you were one of those spoiled little brats that never got their butt whooped! Now I didn't ask this question to be put down by someone who thinks their sh*t don't stink, so keep your opinions to yourself. I was looking for some encouragement not insults...K Thanks!
    ZachysMom8608

    Answer by ZachysMom8608 at 12:16 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Hang in there mama, what I do with mine is he gets 3 chances....he throws a toy at me, i say no throwing toys at mama, he does it again, NO throwing toys do it again and your in trouble, he does it a third time, spank his behind all the way down the hall to his time out corner and he is there for 2 minutes...
    Over the weekend I told my hub your in trouble my son grabbed daddy by the leg starting panking him and pushing him down the hall to time out.....it was so funny and cute, but i had to explain that only I am allowed to spank and do time outs..
    it will and it does gets easier with time, just pick on or 2 punishments and stick with them, trust me i get stares all the time when in town for spanking my kid then putting him in time out..but what would you do if you spent an hour on your hands and knees trying to pry him out from under a truck in the parking lot...I know im harsh on my kid, but he has tried a many times to
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • hurt himself, so the only way to get through to him is to be harsh..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Lol Anonymous that is so funny. Thanks you guys for the help. I thought I was the only one with a hard headed toddler. My friends kids are so better behaved, but I guess all kids are different.
    ZachysMom8608

    Answer by ZachysMom8608 at 12:31 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Lmao, hard headed kid is right, My sis kids are little angels and my son is I swear in a lets drive mommy insane phase or something...Its a normal part of being a toddler, they are just testing you, see if you will eventually give up and give in to what they want....it may take you a thousand times to get the point across if you run in the street you have to go inside... but just keep the same punishment everytime no matter what and one day he will understand you mean bussiness....
    if you ever have a hard day, i have some horror staories of my kid that will make you feel alot better
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.