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seperation.. how to do it..

Me and my husband of 5 years have agreed to legally seperated, while he deployees due to our issues, and then see when he comes back in 2 years if we want to make it work or not, we have a house and loans ect together and he is military how will this legal seperation effect all that?? is there away to leave it as it is now, untill we see what we wanna do? and how will this affect my medical, the kids medical ect.. and can we even be legally seperated for that long? we live in WA

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Apr. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Why not just seperate? Then everything will remain the same. When he gets back you can go through the legal process if that's what the two of you decide.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • If he's going to be gone anyway it seems like it would be easier to simply separate for the two years without going through the legalities. Especially if you need to maintain housing and benefits.


    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:41 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • OP here, yes and no, we want to make it legal because, that way its gonna be easier in two years if we dont want to work it out. I understand it would be easier, but this is how we would like to do it.. I wanted to see if anyone knew anything about this.. Personally I know military does not make you lose ur medical for being seperated, but not sure about housing? and also not sure about if we can just leave the bills the way they are and just agree on who pays what? I would think since we are still married this would be an issue untill the divorce on changing the names on the loans ect

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Talk to JAG about it. Or a civilian laywer.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:45 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • You husband gets the BAH, if it goes into a bank account that you share then you have access to that money. Unless your husband and you go to the bank taking you off that bank account then you will still have access to it. This is going to be very tricky for you. Do you get along with his mom? I know dumb question but he will be making a will out correct? He will probably leave all his possessions to his mom ( i know you dont want to think about something happening to him because you guys seem like you are being civil about it) but what about power of attorney also. Thats alot of stuff you guys have to deal with. Are you staying in the same house? Are you active or reserves? I am assuming you have a house off base because you are getting BAH. You have to be careful because if he gives someone full POA they can sell the house from right under you. Like i said, its going to be very tricky.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • No it's not going to make anything easier later if you both agree to end it. Just work out your issues now, work up a parenting plan if you do decide to end it and leave things as is to get all the military benefits while he is gone. When he gets back just go in and file together. Uncontested divorces go through quickly and cheaper.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • a legal sep means nothing unless you sit down nd decide everything and then have a judge sign off on it. otherwise lawyers or not-its just a paper. and if you are going to sit down and have such a big talk-you may get your questions answered now versus 2 yrs. i dont know how 2 married people can work out a marriage when they dont WORK ont he marriage. makes no sense.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:48 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

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