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What do I do???

I know this should be simple, but it isn't. I have been with my SO for almost 8 years now. We have a 3 year old daughter and I am 5 months pregnant with our second child. I have recently taken a look at his cell phone bill(we're on the same plan of course) and noticed that nightly when I go to bed and he stays up cuz that's his "video game" time, that he is up texting other girls till sometimes 1am or 2am. I know they are girls cuz I have texted the numbers myself. I know I should leave him but it is so hard to do while being pregnant. I work 50 hours+ a week and to come home and have to be a single mother would put me on overload. I don't know what to do. I confronted him and he denied talking to anyone. I want to save our relationship but Idk how. Please don't degrade me or post anon to be rude. I only want opinions of people to want to help and not be rude. Thanks.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Apr. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You have a 3 y/o, you're 5 months pregnant, you work 50+ hours a week and your boyfriend stays up half the night texting other girls, and you sincerely want to know what other mothers think?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • What the hell is he doing he has no business doing this if I were you I wouldn't be there when he gets home you are not going to play this game either he stops this behaivor or your out of there don't even think of giving him a chance this has been going on way too long maybe longer you just found out oh hell no I would not be treated this way...arrgg this makes me so mad I hate men like this....let me kick him in the balls....lol GL. Remember when you confront someone and they are doing something it's not like they will admit it find other way to find and get some proof with out him he is just stringing you along...do something about it now before you are in too deep...GL

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • confront him again, with the bill in hand. how can he deny proof?? maybe they are girls and he is texting them. but maybe its just friendly? i dont know hun. i always try to give the benefit of the doubt, kwim?? just talk to him about it, let him know you dont want to leave, or him to leave and that you want to work on things, or whatever is wrong. good luck
    lilianasmom1116

    Answer by lilianasmom1116 at 10:33 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • OP- It's my apt so he will be the one leaving. Thing is he doesn't care cuz he will go to his mommys and she will baby him. He will turn into a deadbeat and barely see his daughter and won't help pay anything. He gets to be a child at his mommy and he loves it so he wouldn't care if he had to leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • I would confront him again, will the bill as well. I would be really skeptical that it was "just friendly" because if it was he wouldn't lie about it, he would just show you the texts.

    In my honest opinion (and NOT to be rude), I would be curious why you were looking at his cell phone bill in the first place. My SO and I have the same cell plan but I never review who he has been talking to/texting. Did you already have some feeling that there was something going on??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • If he doesn't care whether or not he leaves, why in the world do you want him to stay?! He WOULD have to pay, because you can take him to court for child support! And to be honest, you can get help and go to school to get a good career where you don't have to work 50+ hours a week.

    Hon, if this is how he is acting now, it is never going to get better. You need to do what is best for you and your babies, and kick his ass to the curb!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • I think that being a single Mom of two with him would be better emotionally for you and the kids in the long run, if you do it now. I cant imagine not having help, but you dont deserve that. You'll be better off finding a Real man who wants to support you and help you and stay true to you. It will be hard at first but everything gets better. And definitely show him the phone bill and ask who they are then.
    babySTAR09

    Answer by babySTAR09 at 10:47 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • why would you wanna be with someone who doesn't care to be with you. it doesn't matter to him either way? i would want to be with someone who actually wanted to be with me. aside from the other girls. and as far as guys go, what you find out or he is willing to tell you is 90% of the time only the half of it.

    KristaRene

    Answer by KristaRene at 10:52 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Yeah this is a hard one. I have actually been texting old boy friends slash friends lately that I found on myspace who I went all the way back from elementary with to highschool but I always tell my husband who they are and theres nothing to hide. But I also dont stay up all night and text them its usually before I go to bed around 9 or so. Im shocked that your even working and 50 hrs at that. I quit working when I was 5 months pregnant cause I couldnt do the standing thing any more and having to wake up early every morning just the throw up lol so my husband started supporting us both at that point. I would definatly hand him the bill and you had every right to check it if you suspected something. I never check on ours but I dont have a reason too either. There have been times I have gone through hubbys wallet just to see what all he has in there but never find ne thing fun lol. Well Gl and hope you guys find a solution.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 10:59 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • If you can get him to admit it, then maybe you guys can talk about it and work things out. Maybe you have found out early enough, and all thats going on is the texting and nothing more and you can find out why he's doing it and get him to stop befor eit goes any further. He's got to see where txting other women and sneaking and lying about it are wrong.If he doesn't see that and he thinks its okay, then maybe you should kick him out for awhile or permanently. Just listen to your heart first because its not easy. Good Luck. I'm sad for you. I caught my 1st husband cheating on me when I was 7 months pregnant with our son. I was devastated, heart broken and felt that I would truly die of a broken heart. It was a lonely time for me, to have to do everything, I felt so alone and I hated him for what he did.Hang in there, and find out the truth.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:03 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

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