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Does anyone else have mother inlaws like this and if you do how do you handle her?

My mother inlaw is very good to us, but also extremely pushy. For example, when the baby wakes up crying she will take the baby from my arms because she thinks that she knows how to calm him down better than me. On Easter she got my daughter a bed skirt (that doesn't match anything), I told her that I wasn't going to put a bed skirt on her bed because her bed has a nice wood frame and doesn't need a skirt. Well she go mad and yelled at me that yes she does need one on her bed and put it on anyways. These are just couple of things that happed on Easter. She comes over when ever she wants and rearranges things in my house, goes through mine and my childrens drawers and cleans them out. I really don't want her doing this anymore, but I'm to much of a wimp to say anything.

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Asked by staceynoel at 11:07 AM on Apr. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (852 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • omg. wow. have your DH talk to her..... thats crossing some personal boundaries for sure.

    Answer by Tiffany8168 at 11:15 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • She has gotten tooooo comfortable with your home. A suggestion to call before coming would be good and let your husband should handle her with that suggestion.

    Also, don't be asking for any help with your baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • My husband does say stuff to her all the time and it always turns into a big argument and she leaves. I use to feel bad, but not anymore. She'll say that she's not coming over anymore unless she's invited, but that only last for about a week.

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:20 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Yes! when I first found out I was pregnant my MIL went to my house while I was at work and cleaned my house.... not a bad thing but I'm extremely OCD. she did everything wrong and backwards lol. I have anxiety issues and she goes around and tells everyone what meds I take and crap that I dont want everyone knowing.... but shes on drugs herself. Like pot. I take perscription drugs that were perscribed to me for my condition. I really dislike my MIL. she claims she loves my son soooo much but NEVER comes to see him or calls and asks about him. When she does see him he cries cuz he doesn't know who she is. Grrrrr. I'll just stop there... but you're not alone when it comes to annoying MIL'S.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • WHAT! Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would be ignoring that knock at the door. NOONE does that to me with my baby or in my home! DOes she pay your bills?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • My MIL is basically the anti-christ so yes i can relate slightly. I think you need to be firm with her, and stand up. dont be a wimp hon, she is just a bully and what makes a bullys top? when the person they bully stnad up and says no. ok practice this way....blanket statements..for example she goes to take the baby you say"ty but I can handle this' she goes to arrange something"ty but thats fine I got it" and if she keeps pushing it, gently set your hand on her arm, look her int he eye and say'I am asking you to respect my wishes , please stop' and keeps aying it, no matter what she comes back with. if you have to when she stops by stand at the door and say, this isnt a good time call us later on in the week. get dh onboard too. this can stop hon, but only if you stop it. good luck and would love to hear how it all works out. if it were me? I would tell her gflat out she has to call or she cant come over...

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:37 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • good grief, and my SIL thinks I'm pushy LOL!
    I would ask the DH to talk to her- hope he gets somewhere with it! If he won't, or if it doesn't work, can you get some help from other family members? I'm sure they know what she's like

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Bearsjen,,,,,,,,,,,,your advice is is really good, but my mother inlaw is very difficult. There have been times when I have put my foot down and flat out told her NO about something. She will sulk and make people feel sorry for her for being a poor lonely elderly widow. My husband and I end up feeling sorry for her and then the cycle starts all over again, where she starts coming over constantly and taking over my house.

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:44 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • haha sounds like you have another child on your hands so treat her like that, when she comes over and re arranges say no firmly and poiletly and when she throws temper tantrum you can't put her in timeout but you can ignore it and not feed it. She may never stop and you unfortunatly can't change her but you can change how you react to her and be firm and consistent about not letting her do things you don't want her to and not paying attention to her temper tantrums either.

    Answer by KatieP. at 12:14 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • She needs to be adjusted...

    I wouldn't even get your husband involved. I'd just tell her straight out that you have your own ideas and taste. And, though you value her opinion,--- ( even though you don't ! ) YOU WILL DECIDE the areas of you and your children's lives,--- THANK YOU !!!

    Answer by IndigoRose at 12:40 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

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