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Anger management-or family counseling

Has anyone ever tried these for their childrens fighting? If so, what did you learn or what do you do different now? ANY advice would be appreciated on this subject.

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JackieGirl007

Asked by JackieGirl007 at 6:06 PM on Apr. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 35 (73,191 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • No- it would be weird and disfunctional if kids DIDN'T fight!

    I have 4 siblings, and we all fought all the time - we're all grown up now and best of friends - that's life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Counseling psychology was my doctoral minor. I had to do actual counseling and it was video taped to others could watch and comment on what was going on. I had a family that I was forced to do family counseling with in a traditional family counseling style. What the counselor does is gets the family talking about anything waiting for the family to fall apart. For a fight to start. It may take weeks and cost thousands. After weeks nothing happened. The parents were very confused and upset. My professor thought what we were doing was perfect. So my message is family counseling can be long, it may seem like nothing gets done, and it may cost a lot.


    I recommend starting with the books How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Sibling Rivalry.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 6:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • We didn't go to counseling for this, but something that we did with our kids when they were younger and would fight is we would make them sit and hold hands (or hug, or even just sit and not touch) and we would make them come up with a certain number of things (how many depended on how much they had been fighting) that they liked about each other.

    It couldn't be things like "I like when you leave me alone" either. They weren't allowed to go play or do anything until they came up with the good things about the other person.

    It helped them learn to keep in mind that even when they're mad at the other one, that the other one is still a person that they like and love and is deserving of respect.

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:47 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • My friend gave me excellent advice and IT REALLY WORKS!!!!
    She said, when they fight, stand them in the corner for five minutes, so they have a few minutes
    to calm down. Then call them over to where you are. Have them stand facing each other, then
    make them put their arms around each other's necks. Like in a hug. Then, they have to tell
    each other something like, "I am sorry for ______ and I love you and I'm glad you're my bro/sis."
    Then the other one has to say the same thing, while they look each other in the eye. Then they
    have to hug.
    Believe me, they will be cracking up and laughing because they will feel like such dorks.
    This is some of the BEST parenting advice I have been given, and whenever I get the
    chance, I pass it on!
    Let me know if this works for you!
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 1:50 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

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