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How can I get my 5 year old son to listen ?

no matter what I do he just will not listen to me or my husband we have tried multiple things and nothing works . if anyone has any advice please let know thanks.

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Asked by mamaoftwo83 at 6:38 PM on Apr. 6, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • You want your son to obey. Usually if kids aren't obeying their parents are using punishment based parenting. Psychologists know this doesn't work. Punishment doesn't stop bad behavior. It teaches kids to lie, be sneaky, have worse behavior, and to resent their parents. Punishment never teaches good behavior.

    Love & Limits is a good first parenting book. It is a problem solving parenting method. The author, Elizabeth Crary, has a website called StarParenting. There is a nice parenting chart that can help you get started.


    Answer by Gailll at 6:43 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • At that age, you need to get down to his level and look him in the eyes. Give clear, concise instructions, and here is the trick, ONE STEP AT A TIME.  Example, taking a bath, tell him to go the the bathroom.  Follow, now tell him to take off his clothes.  Next, pick the clothes up.  Now, put clothes in the hamper/basket.  Now, make sure you've gotten the tub filled while he's following your instructions.  Next, hop in the tub (step in the tub if they take things literally).  Now step by step instructions on bathing. Then on to the next set of steps.......etc.

    It may not be that he's not listening, it maybe more that you are giving him more instructions than his brain can process at the time.

    Good Luck!!!


    Answer by twinsplus2more at 6:48 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Is this new? Have you always disciplined successfully?

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:03 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Time outs. Taking toys away. Loss of privliages.
    Be consistant, follow through, and stand your ground.
    Be consistant means every time you give one warming and he does it again, he gets the punishment warned.
    Follow through means no empty threats.
    Stand your ground means don't allow him to manipulate you into getting out of his punishment. Through fit, through tantrum, through cries always follow through with the punishment.

    One warning. "Johnny, you throw that spoon again and you're getting a time out." He throws it. You put him in a place out of site of any entertainment and away from any toys. In front of a blank piece of wall. One minute for every year he is old. So Five years old he gets a five minute time out. He gets up you remind him again he's in time out, then put him back. Next time, you put him back in silence and everytime after that. You can do it! Be strong!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:26 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • A great tactic is to try not to tell kids what NOT to do, but rather what you want them to be doing instead. Often- kid minds get jumbled because they focus on so many things. They hear you- but may not process what you are saying as you want it to be heard. This is why so many little kids will do exactly what you just told them NOT to do. lol

    Love and logic is a great parenting style that gives children the positive love and support they need to make their own GOOD choices. Sometimes, they just learn to tune out what they don't want to hear.

    Good luck!

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 9:48 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • jeanclaudia , the disciplin was successful its just getting harder . its like the more consistent we are the harder he fights. and I have a 2 year old thats watching so its hard

    Answer by mamaoftwo83 at 10:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

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