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Throwing Fits and hitting me (15 months)

Anyone else's 15 month old slap at you and hit you when they are throwing a fit? Its not that its hurts me, but its just not acceptable in my book. I spank his hiney but it doesn't seem to help.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Apr. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (12)
  • Tell him firmly "no." Then put him in a safe place and walk into the other room. Remove yourself. Just be calm and firm and tell him we don't hit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Your child doesn't know how to express their feelings so they do what they can to get them out. Spanking or ignoring is the wrong thing to do. At this moment your child needs to know that you are there for them. I would try to step away from the smacking but let them know you are here and you understand they are upset. Once they calm down your baby should come to you and cuddle you. It must be something intense they are going through possibly pent up feelings from other incidence. Try reading something by Naomi Aldort or going to her site

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • By smacking their hiney you are also reinforcing the smacking in them. Try to avoid physical punishment if you don't want them to hit you back - you are showing them hitting is ok.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • My son got into that habit a couple months after he turned one. I would simply grab his hand when he'd do it, look him in the eye, and say very sternly "Do not ever hit me." Then I would drop his hand and we'd move on. If he did it again I would do the same thing and then give him a time out. There are certain things that do not warrent a warning before a time out and hitting is one of them.

    You are prime example in how Spanking a child backfires. It's normal for a child to hit at this age, a lot of them do. However, when you spank a child in punishment for them hitting you, you're confusing the hell out of them. They don't understand why you're allowed to hit when you're mad, but they're not. Ontop of that, do you want your child growing up thinking that it's okay to hit people? Your child is most likely hitting you without caring of consequence because you do it to him. (Contin)

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • (Contin) My son stopped hitting within a few days to a week. Didn't do it everytime he got made, but he did sometimes. He learned quickly to redirect his anger. Whether he walked over to the wall and hit it, or he just threw himself on the floor and fussed for a few minutes. Either way, I found that my method worked. I can't say that it works for every child, but it's worth a shot.

    If time outs doesn't work, then try to encourage redirecting his anger into something more positive. Or having him try and talk it out with you. All I suggest is not spanking him in way of punishing him after he's hit you.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:21 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • When my son started hitting, I would take his hand, tell him "no hitting," then make his hand rub my arm and say "nice mommy." It also worked with daddy and puppy.

    Answer by brookebella at 7:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • It is normal, but not acceptable, for them to hit and spanking is just confusing them. Cuddling afterward is not a good thing because it reinforces the behavior with a good reward. My recommendation is to get a time out chair and start using it for the hitting. When he/she hits simply say "we do not hit" and place them in the chair with no other words. If they get up put them back with no more words. The more words the more confused they are. Try to ignore them if he/she cries and whines. At this age time out should be no longer then 2 minutes of sitting quietly in the chair. When things are calm you can explain when time outs are given and how they are expected to behave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • After you spank him, try putting him in his high chair or exer-saucer if you have one. Tell him he can get down after he stops yelling. You probably just have a strong willed child and so it will take a little longer to break him. I spanked my children and my grandchildren are spanked, and I firmly believe it is the quickest and most effective way to stop bad behavior. Just be sure you warn him once, then spank. If he doesn't get it the first time, you might try the second. Don't spank him too hard but hard enough that you know he feels it. If you are spanking him through his diaper, that could be the problem. He has to feel the sting of his own rebellion, just like you and I do. Always tell him you love him too much to allow such behavior in your home. My youngest grandson is almost 2, and he minds very well, although he will occasionally test his boundaries. So hand in there, Mom. He will get it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:26 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • OP here: Thank you Nanny B for the encouraging words....and for backing me with using spanking as a method of punishment. I know not everyone believes in it, but it does get the point across very quickly but the slapping and hitting me seems to happen very frequently here lately. (And my son is very smart and knows what a spanking is, even at 15 months) Time outs has not been effective at all b/c my son is such a busy baby that I can't get him to set still for 2 if anyone has advice on how to use time outs, please let me know. Thanks for all the comments everyone

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • I would use a pack-n-play or something along those line for time outs. But not the crib, carseat or high chair. You don't want him to create negative connections to thing that you have to use daily. Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

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