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Was I a super harsh mommy tonight? Tantrums @ my wits.

So, Ann Landers (I think) had a column about a mom's old weapon of killing a tantrum. It sounds harsh. But I'm willing to try anything once (so long as it's not abusive). The woman telling the story is now old enough to have her own kids, though it didn't say if she does. She tells the story of in her years of youth (and during tantrums) how she remembers her mom going to the kitchen, getting a cup from the cubbard, filling it with water, and putting an ice cube in it. Never yelling back or saying a word to the her, she swishes the ice around in the water to get the water cold. She then took the cup and splashed it on her daughter during her fit. The purpose was to change the child's focus from the fit, to what had happened. It was an alternative to yelling back at her child. And the daughter soon learned that once her mother placed the ice cube in the water, she had better settle down or she was getting the cold cup.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • I think its a good idea. I hate yelling. And I don't see how a cup of cold water is harmful in any way. That's what they've always done in movies to get people to snap out of it! Haha
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:19 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Continued... So tonight I gave it a try. I filled the small cup less than half full, placing the ice in it, swirling it around, and then removing the ice. My daughter of age 4, still yelling at me after a good 20 minutes...I threw it onto her chest and simply said "Your attitude is getting too hot, you need to chill out!" She was cought way off guard and ended up peeing herself. Then she fell on the flooor. Mommy's attempt backfired. Now I'm left feeling awful. I made my ammends, but now I'm looking back thinking...that was dum. The worst part is she hit her mouth on the floor and now might have a purple lip. Darn it! It seems harsh!
    aklebeyers

    Answer by aklebeyers at 11:19 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • I would not do that personally I think it is harsh and not at all cool.
    I have three kids, so I have seen tantrums. I ignore the child throwing the tantrum, eventually if they know they will not get a reaction, they won't throw a tantrum. If they are not getting reaction, it takes too much energy to throw one.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:20 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • Oops...guess I'm not anonymous! :)
    aklebeyers

    Answer by aklebeyers at 11:21 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • I've been doing my best to keep it cool. But she knows how to work me. Lately I've been ignoring her, but she'll follow me everywhere and pull on me, drag at my feet, and even climb on my lap and get in my face. It's sometimes a nanny 911 nightmare.
    aklebeyers

    Answer by aklebeyers at 11:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • we only allow fit throwing in a corner. When ds starts to throw a fit I tell him "take it to the corner" . They never last more than a min or two because he gets tired of standing in the corner. It hasn't failed me yet!
    Jjoneslagrange

    Answer by Jjoneslagrange at 11:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • OK, well you can not undue it, so you both have to move on. I would just look for another way to fix the tantrum thing. Sometimes as parents we do things and realize it is not something we should have done and regret it. That is normal. But like Oprah says "when you know better, you do better".
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:25 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • We tried timeouts in her room. I took the lessons from nanny 911. Consistancy of putting her back on the bed until she stayed. Dad didn't follow through with me, so it ended up not working. If dads not on bored, its nearly impossible!
    aklebeyers

    Answer by aklebeyers at 11:26 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • you could just thump her in the nose, then once she sees you getting your finger in position she would know to end the tantrum. You will always have your finger at hand...idk about a cup and an icecube.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:29 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • awww, i just read the rest about her peeing on herself. I bet you felt bad. Every kid is different though so what works with one isnt going to work with another. Hope you find something. Myself, i would just give her a good spank on the bottom and then the next time she has a tantrum remind her of it and maybe she wont want that to happen again
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:34 PM on Apr. 6, 2010

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