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How do you deal with a loss of a loved one?

The day after Easter, My grandpa died. He was more than my grandpa though, he was more like my father. The best dad/grandpa in the whole world!!! I am having a really hard time dealing with this death. My grandma died 2 years ago, and the only way i got thru that is bc i knew i had to be strong for my grandpa...not that he is gone...i don't know what to do...they were my life...my heros, life is just not right with out them. I don't understand how i am suppose to live my life normally after this. But I have too, I have 4 amazing kids that deserve 100 percent of me. But right now I am so lost, so outta control...I don't know what to do...please help

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sexy_can_i

Asked by sexy_can_i at 12:26 AM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (107 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • there is really no getting over it, all you can do is take it day by day, remember all the good times and it will get esier as time passes. I'm sorry for your loss
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:32 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • It is completely normal to feel the way you do, and eventually as time goes on, you will feel better....not 100%, but you will learn to live without them being physically present. You have great memories of them in your heart. You can tell your kids about all the things that you love about them to keep their memories alive. Just know that they are with you, in your heart and they are with you in everything that you do because they obviously had a profound effect on you and what you've become as a person and a mother....so they will always be with you. I am sorry for your loss. God bless.
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 12:32 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Loss is difficult no matter what the circumstances. You are a wonderful parent for even noticing your grief is causing you to give less than 100% to your kids. But knowing isnt changing the fact that u are hurting. My advise is to take time each day aside from the family to grieve. Do the parenting/ spouse thing like you normally would. then when u have alone time, allow yourself to feel all those feelings. Dont dwell on them. Know your pain is real and valid, but that it over time the pain will subside, and the happy memories and love that your grandpa gave u will remain. Of course the hurt will never fully go away because u will always miss him, but u can show your family the love he showed u. Be thankful 4 the blessing of having been loved, and 4 the ability to spread that love. Then your grandpa can live on through u and the love he shared. I am sorry 4 your loss and pray that your healing is swift. And the love remains
    Tzutchka

    Answer by Tzutchka at 12:48 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Time does heal the hurt the pain You will always miss them and if you know that they are in a better place and that they knew who God is then you know that they are with him. In time you will feel that they are with you..
    I lost my son 6 yrs ago this coming may it is still hard at times I have lost my twin and it is hard as well that was 20 yrs but she is in heaven as well.
    Some
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 12:55 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • When my mom died I felt similarly. I'd have loved to have given in and cried and screamed and stayed in bed for days. But I had two boys that were missing their Granny and who were looking to me to be strong for them. So just like you had to be strong for your dad/grandpa, you have to be strong for your kids. I agree with a pp that you do need to take some time to grieve, to let your emotions out so that you will be able to give your kids what they need.

    As painful as it was, what I found really helpful was talking about my mom, especially with my son. He was 5 1/2 at the time and was very much Granny's boy. So we talked a lot about Granny and how much she loved him and basically kept her alive in our memories and our hearts. I feel that the best tribute I can give to my mom's life is to be the best mom I can be to my kids, to pass on the love she gave me so it doesn't die with her.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 1:02 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • You need to know that you can weep for them, but don't weep long know that they want you to be strong and to carry on with what they showed you and for you to celebrate their lives. They would not want you to be sad. there will be time when you will smile again and enjoy life I know it is hard.
    If it wasn't for my girls I don't think IO would make it. But then again I believe in God and at the time I was mad at him for taking my Twin and son away from me. But I turned around and said thank you for the time you have given me with them. My twin she is always with me when I look in the mirrow and my oldest reminds me of her she has alot of my twin in her. As for my son, He was the only boy I had and in the 15 yrs of his life he has brought so much joy in our lives for the short time he was here my son was 15 my twin was 27.
    So remember the good times you had. And alway tell people that you love them. Because one never knows.GB
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 1:13 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Hugs! I am so very sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves and deals with loss in their own way, and it does take time to go thru all the stages of grief/loss. Just take each day as it comes. One thing that helped me when my grandma died was thinking that she was at peace, and she was reunited with her family (who had passed on). She is in my heart and in my memories, so she is still with me that way. I also take comfort in knowing that she is watching over me, and that when my time comes she will be there waiting for me.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:13 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Sending hugs your way! I felt like I couldn't breath for 3 months after my mother died in a car accident. I had 2 small boys and was in college. Just do what you have to do and then grieve when you are alone. Time will find you feeling better. Just give it time.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:24 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

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