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ok ladies ,i lost my mom 9 months ago

since then i probably gained close to 20lbs. eating and drinking my way through grieving. its horrible. well my husband never complains about my weight but he's never seen me at this size. i've been the same for the last 10 yrs. he doesn't try to have sex as much anymore and says its because i seem depressed. i've tried talking to him about it and he thinks that i just dont want to be with him and thats kin of true. with the death and working, taking care of kids and him theres no time . i'd rather avoid it. is there something wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jun. 26, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Sounds like you're depressed. It could pass, but why wait? Get to your doctor ASAP! Don't forget to exercise too. Its a natural mood booster!

    Answer by drowninginboys at 11:05 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • You should talk to a counselor or psychologist. More in likely your husband just wants to help you through and understands your libido is low since you are griving. It sounds like he is just trying to give you space, which is great because something like this is really tough on a relationship. Remember he probably has some emotions going on about this try talking about what happened try not to worry about sex and weight. Though drinking and griveing are a bad idea. Try finding other ways to grive would be a good idea too.

    Answer by ilovemybananer at 12:27 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I Lost my mother this March. Please seek help. Talk to a grief counselor! Seeing as how you never gained weight before this, I would say you are suffering from depression and grief. If your religious talk to your priest or pastor who can suggest a grief counselor for free. Most funeral homes keep a professional grief counselor on staff as well.  I"m deeply sorry for your loss.

    Answer by vbruno at 1:18 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I would check out a naturapathic or homeopathic doctor for possible thyroid/hormone issues. After having my second child I found out I had Hypothyroidism which causes weight gain also. I went to the doctor above and found out also that I was premenapausal and was low on progesterone. They prescribed lozenges or troches that I put under my tongue on days 7 thru 28 of cycle and it helps with my mood and I got a homeopathic remedy for stress/depression, and I was prescribed Armour for thyroid, I'm much better now, and by the way I lost my mother several years ago and understand your pain. Oh, almost forgot another thing that helps me is a good whole food nutraceutical called Juice Plus. My website because I became a distributor is and my email is Hope this all helps, Eileen

    Answer by EileenMarie at 2:12 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • Before heading to a doctor for pills to mask your emotions, seek grief/bereavment councelling. You can find a lot of great resources through any local hospice office and I'm pretty sure they are all free. Just google Hospice + your city and it will give you a list. Once you sort through the emotions of losing your mom the rest should work its self out. Try to work on not self-medicating (through food and alcohol) in the meantime. That will make a huge difference. Feel free to PM me if you need help finding local resources!

    Answer by bltcahill at 8:29 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • Oh, and you should be able to find information for your husband as well to help him understand what you're going through and how to be supportive and deal with everything on his end as well.

    Answer by bltcahill at 8:36 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • so sorry for you loss. my mom passed away 3 yrs ago, and i too gained weight. ,yes, i believe hubby does not, definately not want an over weight wife, both of u will be happy when the extra weight is off or reduced, really, thats it, guys still like to "show off " their wives, loose the weight, our moms would have told us so if they would still be here

    Answer by ashleyamanda at 9:26 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

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