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if i was your sister what advice would u give ab a fight we just had?

my fiance and i got into a huge fight. he wanted to go out and i didnt want him to bc he was gone at his friends house til 1 am the previous night. and he got angry and yelled and cursed at me right in front of his friends and my DD. he has NEVER done anything like that before not even when we are home arguing. we have had 3 major arguments in the past 4 years and this was the worst. i ended up punching him in the face bc he was trying to wrestle my car keys from me (he was driving n i took them out the ignition), and he later smacked me in my face (i say smack bc he wasnt trying to hit me hard, it just stung a little) we stayed apart a few nights but we have 2 kids and although we arent married we depend on each other.i am a SAHM but i wk PT for spending money and to pay for internet and water. he is immature, i am 3 yrs older but we take care of each other we want to go to counseling but i just dont know if he will

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OP HERE - take everything as seriously as me. i dont want us to get violent ever! i hate that (even though he had it coming) and he is soooo sorry. neither one of us want to live with out parents we want to be together, he wantes to be with me, but i just dont know if he will act that immaturely again! he doesnt know if he wants to sit home and be a family man or go out and play with his friends. im so confused. i dont want o be with someone who wants to hang out several nights a week and leave me home alone and lonely!!!! but how will i know if he is telling the truth about wanting to work to get better! i really would prefer to keep my family together but what would u do, we did get physical!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • You better suck up to him and kiss his ass so he doesn't file charges for you punching him in the face and get your ass into anger management NOW. You don't want to go to jail or worse start punching your kids when you don't get your way. You have a problem. Work on you. If I were your sister I'd take your kids away to protect them from you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • If a relationship results in physical contact like this, it's time to go to counseling or to get out completely.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • You're immature! Where were your kids while you were screaming like a banshee and ripping the keys from the ignition? Not in the car I hope but I suspect they were.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • OP HERE - I wasnt the one screaming, he was, i was in the passenger seat and he was driving like a mad man so when he stopped the car i put it in park and turned the car off. he started the argument with me if i wasnt clear. he cursed and screamed AT ME in front of everyone, not the other way around. i punched him bc he tried to FOOTBALL TACKLE me to get the keys, so it is not i who is at fault here i have bruises all over my arms from where he was handling me like a ragdoll, also a huge bruise and scratches on my face bc he grabbed me there and squeezed!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • anger management. you punched him in the face then he slapped you. he didn't want to hurt you but you hauling out trying to get your way. thats crazy if i saw something like that and knew the kids were anywhere near i would have called the police on YOU. having a fight like that about something simple like going out is stupid. yea the guy should realize he isn't a single man with no attachments anymore. should want ot stay home sometimes. HOWEVER.. you only said he went out one night pryer and then wanted to go out again. if you guys cannot logically sit down and think of a going out schedual or arangment prier to the night in question you guys would do better to seperate.
    MoMoFu

    Answer by MoMoFu at 11:05 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • In that case that is nuts - i'd get rid of him. thats not good for your kids thats really messed up for you. you're strong now but if he doesn't shape up and get over himself then you will eventually get broken down.
    MoMoFu

    Answer by MoMoFu at 11:07 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • OP HERE - YEA i know i was wrong in hitting him, but u all have to understand that his friends were in the car at the time and had been teasing him ab being a punk bc he cant go party every weekend. he DOES go out. he is at a friends house at least 2 nights a week! i think that is plenty for someone who works full time and has a full time family! i dont get those luxuries anymore, nor do i want them! i dont try to hold him home bc i dont go out, i just dont expect him to spend more time away than he does at home. let me add that when he is home, its like hes not bc hes too tired from hanging out and working!!! i truly dont feel at fault here, he had me pinned, he EXPLODED on me calling me all kinds of bitches and other words bc he couldnt get HIS way!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • he should man up you know the creed man up or bitch out. The truth is you should both go to anger management and if your going to stay with him the one thing you are both going to have to think about is you are not his mom and he is your father your a couple either both of you go out once or twice a week or neither one of you should go out. He sounds like he is not ready to give up going out. Getting into a relationship is about sharing and working together. But at that same time you should both have down time it helps.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:30 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

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