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How to enjoy sex after baby..

I am sad to say that after I had my Baby 6 months ago, that part of my life has seemed to get up and leave! Am I normal?? Is this normal for it to be this long?? Also I do notice that I am alot dryer than I used to be..so this sometimes makes it a little more difficult. Any advice will help!

I really want to resume this relationship with my husband, Im afraid that he thinks that I am not interested in him :_(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sad how nobody mentions that little detail. You are a lot drier afterward and it is normal. You just need a good lubricant and to take your time. If you're breastfeeding, the dryness lasts longer. Eventually you will get back to normal.
    brookebella

    Answer by brookebella at 11:15 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • It's very normal. I had my baby 16 months ago and I am just not that interested in sex anymore...I do it mostly for my husband and myself at times but not as much as before baby. I agree with the brookbella get a good lubricant to help with the dryness...as for the loss of interest idk....I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • I have a 19 month old and 6 month old and no interest either. Just hormones, exhaustion, so many changes. I know how you feel with your hubby thinking you aren't attracted to him any more. My husband is in the military and will be home for 4 days next week, and I am excited but haven't even thought of the sex aspect. Anyways, the best lubricant I found is Astroglide. It is at Walmart. Better than KY because it doesn't get all sticky. It is more water based. It's in a purple box I believe, but in that condom section. And a little goes a long way!!!!
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • I still had a super high sex drive after babies #1 and #2. But, now after baby #3 I don't even want hubby to touch me. I'm so afraid of getting pregnant again (I'm on the progestrone pill because I'm BFing, but still paranoid) that sex does not appeal to me at all. I too worry about how my lack of interest is affect my husband, but he is procrastinating getting a vasectomy...something we agreed he would do months ago. :(
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:42 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Babies are exhausting. I think most women experience a lack of interest in sex for a period of time after having a baby. You are having hormone issues, getting less sleep, less time to care for yourself and your emotional needs, you have someone clinging and depending on you full time.

    When my sex drive did begin to return it was usually during nap time, and sadly my husband wasn't home then. For a while I found myself just having sex for him. Not having it at all was bad for our relationship. He got grumpy and pissy. When I gave up sex even when not interested, I found him to be more attentive to my need for a break from the baby. So sometimes you have to comprise for everyone's benefit.

    I also found it helpful to think about sex or even watch a little porn about a half hour before having sex to help get me in the mood.

    As for the dryness, a good lubricant will help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Astroglide? I will look tomorrow night :-).. I am glad when my hubby comes home from work..So excited..but sex don't even cross the mind as well :-S.. I really thank you guys for your help so quickly!

    Would doing any exercises to physically get in shape help I wonder?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Exercise does seem to help with the sex drive. The Kegels help too since that is working muscles already in a sexual area of your body its hard not to get a little turned on when you do enough of them.

    A good diet, sunshine and fresh air help too. As does taking care of yourself. Make sure you are showing frequently, throw on some make up, paint your toes. It really does help. It's hard to feel sexy when you feel like a human burp pad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Exercise is great. It keeps you healthy so you can live long for your children. It also helps with your energy levels for keeping up with the kidos. It, however, doesn't help my sex drive, but I really think that's because of the darn BC pill I'm taking.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 12:49 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Well, I have consulted my Dr bout this..She said some dryness is normal..but not to the point that is chaffing...So she is thinking that if I have any discharge that may be reacting to hubbys um millions of lil swimmers..or I could be reacting to the lube..I normally only use the water based lubricants.

    So I am going on BC..Marvalon..I was on it before and had great luck!! Hopefully my drive will come back!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

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