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My mom thinks...

That because I have tattoos, a belly button piercing, four earrings in one ear and three in the other, that I am a bad example as a mom. She says that it's a bad example for the kids. I don't really get this...what do tattoos and piercings have to do with my ability to raise my children? If anything, it allows me to have a much more open relationship with my children than she and I have ever had. We talk about everything. My second daughter asked me if I will let her have piercings, and I told her yes...but not on her face. And not until she is much older. As for tattoos, they have to wait until they are legally able to get one done. I want it to be their choice. I don't see anything wrong with body piercings or tattoos. They are just another form of self-expression. I can't wait to see what my mom says after my next trip to get my hair done...I am going to get blue and purple highlights and lowlights...heeheeheeheheheheh!

 
chavela_carlita

Asked by chavela_carlita at 1:04 PM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 12 (887 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Tell your mom to butt out. I have tats and right now my hair is 3 different colors and all of my school aged kids are on the honor roll and my oldest just got the highest marks at her piano competition. They all give freely to charities. My oldest has even donated her hair to Locks of Love twice.  They are good kids despite what we look like. (DH has tats too)  As for anon 45, moms get to spend money on themselves too.  Her getting her hair done is no different from other moms getting theirs done 'natural colors' or getting their nails done ect.  And why not splurge on a new tat?  Just because she is a mom doesn't mean she has to stop being her.  It also doesn't mean she has to stop spending any money on herself.  It's not selfish at all.

    sunshine06

    Answer by sunshine06 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Each person has to be their own person! Remember that your mom is from a different generation. I, personally, do not have tats or piercings, but my daughter got her lip pierced a year ago and wants a tat once she is 18. Body art has nothing to do with your parenting abilities. The hair sounds great, I let me daughter get purple highlights and a heart hair tattoo a month ago - she looks great!
    Merjo

    Answer by Merjo at 1:08 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Lol.... I don't have any piercings or tattoos, but my Hubby has both and I don't feel it's a bad influence on our boys.. They know the rules, they have to wait so it's not a big deal. We don't say, OMG NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THOSE, that would just want them more, and then possibly go and do it behind our back... So just ignore your mom, she'll get over it..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:08 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • *make them want them more*
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:08 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • i have tattoos, and my parents don't think it has anything to do with my ability to parent. In fact they have never mentioned it at all except in regards to finding work. Tell your mom that is her opinion, but ask her to keep it to herself. I personally don't even think my son notices it because i've always had it since he was born. He's never pointed to it, or asked what it was, or anything.
    NaKeYJaKeYsMoMy

    Answer by NaKeYJaKeYsMoMy at 1:10 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • It's only a "bad example" if something you do in front of your kids is "wrong." But aside from murder, theft, and other such crimes that have been outlawed, it's up to you to decide what is wrong and what is right. Sure, I'm guessing you will get a few glances with blue hair...but that doesn't make it bad. That makes you unique. :-) Therefore, just ignore her and know that you are setting a good example for your kids where it matters, by your actions and attitude!
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 1:19 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • She went bonkers the one time I mentioned letting my girls get blue purple or pink highlights, or piercings, lol. What are you thinking, and on and on! I told her, well, if they do want these things, they know they can come and talk to me about it. And if I
    feel that they are ready for it, and not wanting to get this done because all the other girls are, (lol) then I will take them and
    get this done for them. If, however, they go behind my back and I find out later on, which I will, can't hide anything from me, lol, they will be in so much trouble!!
    You have to be open and willing as a parent to let your children express themselves without having to worry about mom freaking out. Their dad, however, is not anywhere near as open as I am with them...which will only bring him trouble, not me!
    HAHAHAHAHA to him.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 1:29 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Seems a little self-absorbed to me. How do you set limits on your child when you couldn't set any on yourself? There becomes an obsession with getting one more tat or piercing. Couldn't that money be better spent on providing things for the home, savings account, paying off debt, or the like instead of on yourself. Maybe that is what she meant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • While I don't think it impairs your parenting ability, we do live in a society that judges by appearances and other parents may not be as open minded as you are about allowing their children to play with yours. I don't think it's a bad example as much as it might be a "aggressive" first impression that you probably make on most people.
    btw - I have a very open relationship with my kids and I have no tattoos, and only my ears are pierced, once.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:50 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Let me first say (before anyone takes this the wrong way, lol) that I see nothing wrong with mommies having pierces and tattoos. But I was raised (and my mom STILLLL tells me this) that tattoos and pierces other than your basic ear pierce are trashy. But I don't live for her or anyone else. And you shouldn't either :)

    Right now I have 2 pierces in each ear (first when I was about 9 or 10, second when I was 15). I got my bellybutton done when I was 18. And then I got my Monroe done a month ago (and I'm a mom!). After my boyfriend gets out of basic, we're gonna get tattoos done together, but I'll most likely get mine done in the middle of my back or across my left hip so it's not noticable. I want to get another pierce done, but don't know what, yet! :)
    srhmldndo

    Answer by srhmldndo at 2:25 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

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