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Why is he out of control?

My son is 4 will be 5 in May. I am constantly(almost everyday) getting calls from his school about him hitting and kicking other children. He also will not listen to his teacher. They won't do time- out at his school. All they do is talk to him. We have tried everything from spankings, time-outs, to talking to him. Nothing seems to be working. Any suggestions on what to do about this?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Well, I sure wouldn't spank a child that is having issues with hitting other kids. I would talk to the center about why they don't use time outs. That is just crazy. You can ask your child how he would feel if he was hit or kicked by his friends. Ask him how he would like it when no one wants to be his friend because he is mean. You need to work with the day care or preschool on this issue because if he keeps it up, they will kick him out. Get the book, "1 2 3 Magic". Its an amazing disipline method that takes the emotion out and is NON spanking.

    Also, to gaill: 4 or 5 in school is not too young. At that age it is important to learn appropritate social skills, independence from mom and dad and the basic skills that they will use the rest of their lives.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:30 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • He is too young to be in school. Kids aren't developmentally ready for group learning experiences that young. The ideal age for boys is usually around age 7. That's why many state still don't make kids go to school until age 7.

    Punishment doesn't stop bad behavior and it doesn't teach good behavior. When parents or teachers use punishment kids behave worse, sneak, lie, become more violent, and resent people in authority.

    You need to learn other ways of parenting. Love & Limits is a good first book by Elizabeth Crary. Her website is called Star Parenting.


    Answer by Gailll at 2:37 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • my DD is also in pre-k she is 4 will be 5 in june. she is not to young and has learned alot i would have to disagree lol. her teacher does do time outs on a chair though

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • 7 some mothers need to cut the cord

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Honestly, if your school is only going to talk to him, you need a new school. Since you are only describing problems at school, I'd like to assign the problem as school. :)

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 7:19 PM on Apr. 7, 2010