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new husband vs ex husband

im divorced, have 2 kids and am remarried. my ex is a total jerk and deadbeat dad. he was abusive to myself and the kids. he has supervised visitation. this week the kids are meeting his new baby. my ex has also threatened us and made life very difficult. hes stolen ss# and bank acct. info. he even went to my husbands work and harrassed him. he hasnt broken any laws and so nothing has happened to him. my husband is very upset that the kids have to see him at all and at me for "allowing" it. he says that he shouldnt have to be dealing with all of this. i cant change the past and im afraid we wont have any future as long as my ex is still around. any advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Well, the way I see it, there's 2 options: either deadbeat dad gives up his rights so new hubby can adopt the kids, or new hubby has to accept and deal with the fact that the kids have a dad, whether anyone else likes him or not, and that everyone has to suck it up and deal with it. My boyfriend can't stand my ex, b/c my ex is a deadbeat as well, but if my ex wanted to come see my kids, my boyfriend would be by my side, supporting me and my kids through it. He would never try to put me in that kind of awkward position. He can't get mad at you for "allowing" it; if the courts ordered it, you must do it, unfortunately. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:53 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Since your ex has court ordered visitation, you need to make sure that you MEET him somewhere other than your home. Drop off the kids at a place where the visitation can be supervised. You don't have a choice as to whether he can see the children, but you do have a choice regarding WHERE he sees them.

    I have to quote you, "my ex has also threatened us and made life very difficult. hes stolen ss# and bank acct. info. he even went to my husbands work and harrassed him. he hasnt broken any laws..." and say, DUH! Stealing SS# and bank account information IS VERY MUCH AGAINST THE LAW!!!! Harassing your husband is also AGAINST THE LAW! Call a cop.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 7:56 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • I know it's a difficult situation, but those are his kids too, and your current husband knew your history when you got married, did he not?...

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Your husband is being unreasonable. The children have to see their father the way the court has ordered and you have no choice in the matter. Don't let them see him and you could loose custody or go to jail. Someone needs to explain this to your husband. They may be able to explain it to him at the place that provides the supervised visitation.


    Answer by Gailll at 8:00 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • You need to report this financial fraud. If this person is communicating threats orally or written, that is against the law. You need to press charges. Dont' give up. I know the system is terrible to abuse victims. Keep trying.

    Answer by ecodani at 8:00 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • yes its against the law but unfortunately we cant prove it. we have his ip address but the internet company wont tell us who it belongs to. so the cops wont do anything until we have proof.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

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