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Moms who don't spank: have you ever unintentionally hit your child out of frustration?

I did tonight, and I felt just awful. My daughter was being a little stinker, and was throwing her bath toys out of the tub (which is a bit no-no). When I told to cut it out, she started scratching my arm. I got frustrated and popped her leg. She didn't react to it, but I did. I felt horrible. I apologized to her and told her that it's NOT OK to hit...even for Mommy!!

Have you ever slipped up and unintentionally hit your child? Please share with me? Thanks!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Apr. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It sounds like this was a reflex. That can happen to parents that were hit all the time as kids and then decide not to hit their own children. Don't give it another name like pop. Moms do that all the time on cm to make hitting sound not so bad. Don't make a big deal about it with your child. Just let it go. It can be very upsetting to a parent that never wants to hit but usually it doesn't upset kids that much. When the parent slips up they usually don't hit hard, it happens quick and is over with. They are usually doing something wrong.


    Answer by Gailll at 8:09 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • It is natural to get frustrated with your child and you only did it once. You have apologized to her and told her that hitting is not okay, so you have done your part to rectify the circumstance. Next time, step back and take a breath. That's all. You are not a horrible person. You just made a mistake.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 8:09 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • If it helps you feel better I think you handled it very well.

    Answer by jamesmommy12 at 8:17 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • no, but there was one night when the little one screamed for 2 hours straight and I remembered thinking 'now I can understand why they say to be some careful about shaking kids.'
    So I walked out of the room for a few minutes and took a deep breath. when I got ahold of myself I put her to bed early. She settled down just fine then.

    just do what you can- I don't believe in spanking at all either, but at least you didn't shake her or anything like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Yep! BTDT and felt awful afterwards. When it has happened to me, like when it happened to you, my child was hurting me and it was reflex. (like when I was nursing and my DD bite me and drew blood! I swatted her leg and plopped her down on her bottom. She was mortified that I smacked her thigh and I ended up crying as much as she did!)

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 9:06 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • OH yeah... and not to justify it.... But my DD never bit me again!

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 9:08 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Not so far. I have slipped and yelled at him when I shouldn't have though. I had a really painful belly ache and he was laying on the couch with me and he just kept kicking my stomach. It hurt so much. I'd tell him no and put him off the couch but he kept climbing back up and doing it. I finally snapped and yelled at him, and then I felt terrible. I could have stopped being so lazy and gotten up off the couch to appropriately redirect him and instead I just yelled.

    Ugh. We all make mistakes. Wouldn't it be great to be perfect?

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:24 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • No, I haven't, but I have yelled and felt bad about it. I yelled for her not to touch the oven and I guess it was more of a scream so she bursed into tears. I, like you, felt bad but we just have to move on and learn from it. I agree with you explaining that it was wrong and you made a mistake. It didn't work though, she touched it again the next day, so I just proved to myself that traumatizing her over something not only makes us both feel badly, but it's not an effective learning tool.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 9:30 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • i dont think you're a bad mommy

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • Yes. My step daughter had major boundry issues when she was younger. If you'd bend over to pick something up she'd jump on your back (she was like 40 lbs att his time) or tickling people when it was not welcomed. And yes, we had told her not to do this. One day I was waking up from a nap, still very groggy, and stretched my arms out over my head and she comes up and starts tickling me on the abdomen. Totally as a reflex, i just smacked her on the face. She started cring. I felt bad cause I don't agree with hitting, especially in the face, but at the same time, she never did it again. I apologized, but did throw in a "that's why you don't pester someone when they are sleeping or groggy or not expecting it"

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Apr. 7, 2010