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Holy crapoly. What a self-centered B****.

A question for mothers of grown children: Don't you want to see your child do well in life? Isn't that the biggest and BEST part of being a parent? My MIL is on a rampage b/c my DH and I are buying a house. She told my DH tonight that he is acting like he is "better" than everyone (meaning her and his sister) b/c we are excited about our first home purchase. We aren't even buying a NICE house - it is a serious fixer and isn't huge or anything, just a nice 3 bd family home. We showed her some pics of it, but we've been pretty careful not to rub it in her face, since she lives in a not-so-nice home. But we are EXCITED. There's nothing wrong with being excited, is there? She told him, "You come from humble beginnings - you should carry that with you,". To me that reads, "I'm poor and unhappy, so you should be, too,". WTH? She's making us feel BAD for having worked hard to buy our first home! Would YOU do that?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Apr. 7, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (9)
  • I can see where she is coming from: note, I am not defending her actions/words. She is jealous. She is also ashamed of the fact that her son is doing better than her. That in itself is wrong, but unfortunately, a lot of parents are like that these days. They want for you to have a better upbringing, etc, but when it comes to having better than them...well, now you're just showing off! lol

    Go ahead and get this house. Be PROUD of what you have accomplished. It isn't easy fixing up a house plus making a mortgage payment. If she is sensitive to it, just don't share it with her.
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 11:54 PM on Apr. 7, 2010

  • What a shame that MIL is not happy her son is trying to do better than what he had as a child, I would be thrilled to know my son is planting roots and getting settled and making an investment such as this. It does sound like she is jealous, although I can't understand why. Disregard her comments and show her you can do better and will, keep any self improvement to yourselves from now on to avoid her raining in your parade. Congrats on the house!
    older

    Answer by older at 9:07 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I want my children to do well in life. Of course I've done pretty well myself and couldn't even related to the "You come from humble beginnings - you should carry that with you". Actually my father came from very humble beginnings and our family has always been more like Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With The Wind" "I will never be hungry again." Very hard workers willing to put aside immediate gratification in order to establish long term security. Congratulations on your fixer-upper!
    If he wants to remember where he came form and establish a scholarship or something someday that is great. but carry it with you and be satisfied with being poor, no thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • No I wouldn't do that. I'm proud my children did better than what I could do. Then again they all have someone to help them with finances and I had no one, 3 kids, no child support and worked min wage while they were growing up. I didn't live in dumps but we were never in the best places. I'm happy my kids are doing well. Your MIL is just jealous.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:26 AM on Apr. 8, 2010


  • NEVER in a million years. I would be as excited as they are.
    PestPatti

    Answer by PestPatti at 12:46 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Here's a tip for you. Don't let her or his sister on any of the plans you two are making from here on out. The less they know the better your two will be. Have your husband support you in this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Be proud of what you all have accomplished juses asked use to humble ourselfs in she told him he came from humble beginnings YES...!!! Proverbs 10; 4 he becometh poor that dealeth with a (slack) hand, but the hand (diligent ) maketh rich. Oh lol.... he gives accordingly in he has earned his, there's nothing to be mad about. LAZINESS vs. HARD WORK BABYGIRL HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH LIKE A PEACOCK AND STRUT.
    channellove

    Answer by channellove at 7:15 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • CONGRATULATIONS!! Owning your own home is a big step. Coming from humble beginnings does not mean you can never step forward. Tell your MIL America was built on people willing to work hard and take a few chances.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 11:35 PM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I gave my children life so they could live it! I would never hold them back. My kids came from humble beginings, I did not..it has been hard for me to adjust to that kind of life. Why in the hell would I ever hold my children down?

    Quoting Rod Stewart. "And whatever road you chose, I'm right behind you, win or lose...forever young!" I think you should get your mom that cd. Congrats on the new home, bloom where you are planted baby!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:03 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

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