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Friend's husband is cheating on her.. what would you do?

First, we live in a small town, the type of town where you don't have any secrets because everyone knows everything about everyone. So, one of my sister's like best friends is married to this guy, they have a 3 y/o and a brand new (10 day old) baby. He has cheated on her time and time again (with other girls that we know) and just this weekend my sister and I were out at the bar and saw him all over some chick (he was clearly drunk-touching her all over, sloppy making out with her, etc.) and then he left with her. My sister thinks her friend knows, but really doesn't want to get in the middle of it. She figures if the friend already knows the husbad is cheating, my sis will just make her mad, and if she doesn't know then my sis will tell her something and possibly ruin their friendship. I keep telling her "If it was you, you would want to know."

But I wanted some other opinions.. would you tell or just keep it quiet? :-(

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Apr. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I would tell and I would want someone to tell me.
    awelling

    Answer by awelling at 10:58 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I would want someone telling me however there are people who already know and don't need a reminder and they are in denial. Plus it could ruin the friendship and somehow that person is to blame for telling them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Take pictures....take pictures, drop them off, and no one will know that you did it!
    WomanOfGod7

    Answer by WomanOfGod7 at 11:01 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I agree. Take pix and mail them with no return address
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:49 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I personally could not just sit on this but sometimes the messenger does get shot. She likely already knows but tell her anonymously.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I think you would need a little more proof before getting involved. Him gettting all over some chick isn't enough, maybe his wife knows he does that and he's a huge flirt, you never know. How do you know he has cheated?
    I agree with wanting to know myself but I would want real proof that my SO was cheating. But I once had a close friend tell me she thought ny BF was cheating because she saw him at the bar very close to another girl, I was so upset and later found out that my BF was with some of my other friends and the girl was a friend of both of ours and it was nothing. After that I am cautious about telling friends things until I really know something is going on.
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 12:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I'd want to know, and I'd rather hear it from my best friend who loves me than from an anonymous envelope in the mail. That to me would say "Everyone else knows, and you're a fool" rather than a close friend saying "You don't deserve this."

    Also, if I did find out and I found out my friends knew and didn't tell me, I'd feel twice as betrayed.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 12:54 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Maybe your sister could create a safe environment for her to share what she already knows. Offering love and support and friendship just might be able to allow a conversation to be started.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I would stay out of it. Its not your problem nor your business. As said above the messenger usually gets shot.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 1:46 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • There is no good answer.....If you tell her, she will probably be uncomfortable, annoyed and angry with you (displaced, but inevitable). If you don't tell her and she finds out you knew and didn't tell her she will feel like an idiot and be angry and embarrassed. Maybe just tell her you saw him at the bar acting like a jerk with a woman and then follow her lead after that.If she asks you any questions answer them. If she seems to want to stay in denial, let her. Then you gave her the opportunity but didn't force it down her throat. I think the key is giving her a chance to feel like she is preserving her dignity. If it is denial, that is her choice. In the future if you see this guy out without his wife I would just leave to so I could avoid having to witness him acting out.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 2:25 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

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