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I have a 6 year old daughter. My sister and brother in law are her godparents. This past December my brother in laws father passed away. At least once a month she starts to cry, and when I ask why she says she misses her nino's (her godfather's) daddy. I believe she has seen him 3 or 4 times since she was born. I don't know what to think of this. Is she just doing this for attention? Or does she by chance see "dead people"?

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Asked by momuv42974 at 2:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • myabe she doesnt understand death, I dont think this means she sees dead people. Maybe she is having a hard time dealing with emotions and its the only way she knows how to explain sadness. If she rarely sees sad people then she may only associate sadness with death and say that is why she is having this feeling. no reason to believe she is seeing dead people.

    Answer by ria7 at 2:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I think she is very scared of death. This is probably the first person she knows to die.

    Answer by mompam at 2:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • my daughter does that too -- for my grandpa who died when i was little......she has always talked about him and started saying she sees him in our finally my mom got out a bunch of pictures ( and one had him in it...) the first ever seeing him in any pictures at all and she knew exactly who he was and said that he was the one she sees and talks to in the hallway.......So i definalty believe that some kids see people who have passed away and it is scary to think about....... I am not saying that is why your daughter is doing that, but it is a possibility....

    Answer by glamomomo at 2:24 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • At this age it probably has very little to do with her nino and more to do with the fact that she has just discovered that humans have an expiration date and is scared and upset about it. She might be scared that she will or that the people close to her will. You might sit her down and explain that most don't pass away until they are very very old and that worrying about the people around her passing is not necessary and ensure her that you aren't going anywhere. I remember being 4 and my great grand mother died then three weeks later my aunt died. I was scared to death because to me it seemed like the whole world was dying and no one was safe. Clarify and she should feel much better. You might even light a candle or something each time she cries and tell her to remember the person with love not tears.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • My 6-year-old son regularly uses the "I miss granny and Popo" (my grandparents) as the reason he is upset and crying. My grandmother passed away 9 days BEFORE he was born, and my grandfater passed away when he was only 1-year-old. He obviously does not really miss them.

    As a child, sometimes it is hard for him to understand his emotions. This has become a convenient crutch for him to use. He doesn't know why he's feeling sad, but he knows that other people (my cousin, who is a year older than he is, as an example) are sometimes upset because of people who died. Thus, when he is upset, it must be because his is missing dead grandparents - or at least that's the best reason he can vocalize.

    Don't read too much into it.

    Answer by DDDaysh at 5:56 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Some kids have this reaction to death. I've worked with many children who bring up the death of family long after. My theory is that when they are upset they don't always understand why. They know it's expected to be sad about a death so they associate the feelings with the death. I wouldn't bee too concerned it's really not uncommon.


    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 8:26 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

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