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does your husband make you feel worthless cause you are a S@HM?

i been a stay home mom for most of the past 8 years. when i did work i had to quit cause we couldnt get a sitter so my husband kept his job and made me leave mine. since my youngest turned 2 i been applying for jobs so i can work part time and no luck. we live in a small town with hardly any jobs to begin with and with my work history and being a stay home mom the ones that are hiring wont hire. i already feel like hell about it but my husband makes it worse by calling me lazy and accusing me of being jealous that i make more than him...and thats not the issue. im so depressed and he just makes it worse...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Apr. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • AMEN !!!!!!!!
    add it up and everything you do !
    You are WORTH A FORTURE !!!

    A maid, babysitter,nanny, a cook, & sex . !!!!!!

    He is INSECURE .



    Answered at 6:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2010 by: tropicalmama
    He would NEVER do or say anything to make me feel worthless or less than him. He would expect, that since I am home, that I would take care of the house, the cooking, etc., and yes, if I didn't keep up with that, he might have something to say about it, but if that were the case, he would be justified to say so. Even in that case, he wouldn't be mean or nasty about it, he would just want to know why I am not doing what I should and if there's a problem he needs to be aware of and help me with. Your hubby is a jerk, and you need to tell him so.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 7:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Sorry that's horrible. My husband doesn't make me feel bad about being a SAHM, but I will/would step up to the plate if we needed the extra income. All situations are different and I can't judge yours, but putting people down isn't going to help it at all!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • He is being a jerk. You need to sit down and tell him to stop calling Lazy that is very disrespectful.

    You wake up at work, eat at work, sleep at work, 24/7 How would like to do that? and not get paid.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 5:30 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • That's how he makes you feel obligated to him. He can only make you feel useless if you allow it. What you do is important. Never doubt that. When he calls you lazy then tell him you will show him lazy and don't make his dinner. (unless he would hurt you) He's an idiot. You are not useless. You are providing a loving home for your children. That is just as important to the family as him paying the bills. Tell him to kiss your...you know, when he runs his mouth again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • when my girls were little I became a sahm because me and their dad lived in a small town and there wasn't any work. he belittled the idea constantly. He would demand a spotless house, dinner done at 5 and dishes done after each meal. When he undresses I had to wash his clothes immediatly or he wouldn't give me any grocery money. He was very twisted with his behavior torwards me, all because I wasn't doing anything in his mind...both him and his mother felt I was lazy because I didn't "work". The house was so CLEAN! yet they thought of me as lazy...guess the house and laundry got clean by its self.
    Now that we are divorced he is still that way towards other women but not me! My current husband wants me to take care of our son and the house.....
    you will not be happy with the man you have....either continue to stay depressed or find a way to move on
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • He would NEVER do or say anything to make me feel worthless or less than him. He would expect, that since I am home, that I would take care of the house, the cooking, etc., and yes, if I didn't keep up with that, he might have something to say about it, but if that were the case, he would be justified to say so. Even in that case, he wouldn't be mean or nasty about it, he would just want to know why I am not doing what I should and if there's a problem he needs to be aware of and help me with. Your hubby is a jerk, and you need to tell him so.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • My husband constantly reminds me "YOU DONT PAY THE BILLS! YOU DONT WORK!" Its so upsetting. I can't work, he uses MY car and if i worked i wouldnt even be able to pay the child care bill.
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 7:32 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • my man is glad i stay home. he prefers it to his dd being in daycare. and i love it. he never makes me feel bad about it. he is always asking what he can do to help and will clean if i havent already when he gets home. money is tight and he still buys me things that i just say "oh that'd be nice to have" he wasnt always like this. then he tried it and realized it is a job. with no 15 minute breaks, and no lunch hour, and no pay check. you need to have a talk with your husband. not a fight. just explain how you feel about it, and hear his side of everything. comunication is very important in relationships. goodluck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Wow what a jerk!! Dh doesnt want me to work because he knows I would rather be home with the kids. Every time I clean the house and he come home he tells me thank you. He even will get up and help if he sees Im cleaning. I love DH and Im gratefull he is him..
    MiSs.SmOkEy

    Answer by MiSs.SmOkEy at 8:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • i agree with tropicalmomma. howvever my dh DOES once in a while say that "i dont work" and make me feel like im laz..however i KNOW that he couldnt do what i do everday.no way. he says he can but umm yeah right. i take care of a 3 yr old all day and im carring twins, so when they arrive i will havea 3 yr old and 2 newborns, i breastfeed my babies, andi will be the one and the only one(i know not to expect him to help at night based on our first dd) getting up at night.i keep a spotless home and make dinner every night, take care of 2 dogs and a garden. i am exhausted by the end of the day and i get little to no thanks or appreciation from him. howveri KNOW im needed more at hom for m kids and house rather than at some minimum wage job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Apr. 8, 2010