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Someone help me find some joy in this SAHM gig...

Granted, I'm not exactly a SAHM since I work from home, but regardless, I'm home with my kids every.single.day. I used to go to the office a 2 or 3 days a week, but now we can't afford the daycare/preschool costs, so, here I am and I find that I am becoming more and more miserable with each monotonous day. I ADORE my children, love them to pieces, that is not the issue. The issue is the meals and the dishes and the laundry and their fighting and they are bored no matter how many activities I come up with. The house is never clean even though all I do most of the day IS CLEAN, and I do the exact same things every.single.day. Its like a bad dream on a continuous loop. So many of you think staying home with your kids is the greatest thing on the planet.... cont.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • You have to remember that you aren't a sahm, but you're doing the full job of one AND working. You're doing two jobs at one time, and it's no wonder you're exhausted and frustrated!!! It's hard enough to do the cooking and the cleaning, but doing it between work is tough.
    whiteroses82

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • but I have no idea why. Sure, when they are babies, its fabulous, but at 5 and 3??? I'm obviously having a bad day, and the cherry on all this would be for some of you to bash me for feeling this way, but seriously, I can't be the only one who is losing herself to the tedium in this slow and torturous way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • You sound like you need to find a friend who has kiddos that you can switch off babysitting for free! like one day she takes the kids for a couple hours so you can have some FREEDOM and another day you take the kids so she can have the same thing! Plus, hubby needs to stay home at times so you can go out and do your thing, even if it's after he gets off work!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Ok this is the common case of a SAHM rut. Take a lunch hour, pack up something easy and walk to your backyard and have a picnic (or the park if you have time) Then dump all your trash from lunch into the waste basket outside. There you go, no clean up issues and the fresh air will do you and the kids some good. Have fun activities for them that they can do without your full attention (since you are working) If you have bored kids you have whiney kids. Have art projects. Put down plastic wrap on the floor and table and let them have at it with some finger paint or play dough. You need to simplify your chores. Cook extra of each meal and freeze it (you've done two meals and two sets of dishes in one sitting). Go ahead and buy biodegradable cups, utensils and plates. There you go no more dish washing 24/7. Teach the kids to do basic chores and have a chore chart for them. At 3 and 5 they can do lots of chores! (cont)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Well, every SAHM has days where they are miserable. You have to think of how lucky YOU are to be able to stay home with them. Also at 5 and 3 they are old enough to help out. The 3 year old can pick up things (toys, put SOME clothes away, ect) and the 5 year old can help with bigger stuff. It will teach them responsibility.
    nsrush83

    Answer by nsrush83 at 5:16 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • (cont) at 3 and 5 they should be doing several chores. Have them scrape their own plates and put them in the sink and rinse them off! They should be cleaning up their own toys at this point, yes both of them! They can put away their own tooth brushes when they are done brushing their teeth and after their shower they should be putting their own clothes in the hamper. They can fold laundry and put away laundry especially easy things like towels and their clothing. There is no reason you should do all of the house work. Now is the time to teach your children how to thrive on their own :). Also as for boredom you seemed just as bored as they are. Take outings every single day even if it is something free or small. Take a walk around the block. Go to the library and have the kids pick out books to read during quiet time. Go to the park and have them pick up some leaves to make a collage with at home.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • It's ROUGH!

    I feel your pain. It's no easy task. Stick in there.

    With cleaning, I don't know how worthless it can feel at times, it's a disaster mins. after it's clean. It's never ending servant mode with the kids. I love my kids too but they can be a handful : )

    My suggestion is to get into a routine. This way the kids know what to expect each day. This will help then and you to have a good amount of relax time. When you're hubby's off, what I do is give him 10-30 min. to settle in then have him watch the kids while you go take a shower or do something for you. : )
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 5:18 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • OP here....I know I am lucky to be with them and earn a full salary, I do, but I am definitely in a rut. My husband helps immensely, I'm also lucky for that, he comes home and helps clean up, takes the kids downstairs to play, etc. etc. etc... The only place we are lacking is in outside support...no family to help out, no close friends within a 40 min drive, so it just feels like its me me me me me for EVERYTHING. Even when DH is here the kids want ME. I thought there was some magic age when the kids favored their father? Ack.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • You also need to find something at home that you can do to relax. I scrapbook and my kids that are around this age help me out. We all relax and unwind by doing it. I get several magazine subscriptions for cheap at www.magazines.com and I take at least ten minutes a day to sit down and read a magazine or book or short stories while my kids look at their own books quietly (you might have to train them to give you quiet time by making it into a game, the quiet game is a teachers best friend make it yours too!) Learning new things will keep you excited too. Find subjects that you're interested in and learn about them in books or tv specials and have your kids learn with you. Find something to do together that you don't hate. Me I am not a fan of playing with Barbies and Gi Joes but I found coloring is relaxing, get your own box of colors and your own book! Find board games that you actually like too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I have a 3.5 year old, 2 year old, and a 4 month old that I stay at home with. Most days of late I feel like I'm losing my mind. My toddlers fight all the time. My 2 yr old got his head stuck in a book case last Wednesday. My days feel like they are nearly entirely gobbled up with feeding the kids and changing diapers. I feel yucky and gross because I don't get to fix my hair and make up daily now and I seem to always be covered in baby vomit because my baby has reflux. My baby cries most the time unless I'm holding her and the rare times that I get her to sleep in her own bed for a nap or two, my toddlers start screaming at each other and wake her up. My days are stressful, busy, monotonous, and exhausting.

    Having said that, being a SAHM isn't about me. It's not about my enjoyment, my happiness, etc. It's about my kids. It's about being raised in their home by their mother is better than being raised in daycare.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 5:22 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

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