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Why do so many sahm take their name seriously???

Just because you are a stay at home mom doesn't mean you have to stay at home cooking and cleaning 24/7. I know several friends who leave the house maybe once a week to buy groceries and that is it. Then they wonder why they are depressed. I just don't understand why you don't take advantage of the freedom you have. I'm a sahm and have been for three years. I go somewhere every day. I'm not rich and you don't have to spend money to enjoy your life and your kids. I really do wonder why not get out and enjoy yourselves. Are you depressed or feel like you're failing if you aren't cleaning nonstop? Do your husbands make you feel that way? Not at all bashing just trying to understand my friends so I can help them. They seem miserable!

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Apr. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (25)
  • You are right about the getting out, but it depends on your situation. I got out more when I just had one. I got out some still with the double stroller in tow when I had 2 (we had a membership to the local zoo and went there a lot). But now I have 2 toddlers and an infant. I have not been out with all 3 kids yet on my own and my youngest is nearly 4 months.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 5:31 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I have to have a clean house... it reallllly bugs me not to. That being said I scrub the house TOP to BOTTOM every monday .... that leaves me the whole dang week to get out of this house. I still pick up every day but I also hike, run, go out to lunch, etc.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I wish I was able to get out more often than I do. BUT we only have one car which sux. But we go find something to do on the off chance I'm able to keep it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I'm a SAHM, have been for the past 13 yrs.I stay home most days because I don't feel it's necessary to run around everyday. I'm not depressed, I spend time outside, mowing the lawn, planting flowers, weeding my garden, painting something, or when it's warm enough, I'm out in our pool. I do major cleaning once a week and tidy up every evening. All 3 of our boys are in school everyday and I love having the house to myself to do what I want... Don't assume they are depressed, they may actually take pride in their homes...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 5:36 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I can't speak for everyone but in my case, I can't get out everyday. Yes, it does take money to drive somewhere, eventually it adds up even if you find something to do that is free, and I'm not walking my kids across town. That said, I do take them out for walks around the neighborhood and we go into the backyard to play. Sometimes we just walk around a store. But I do have a house to clean, laundry to do, cooking and I'm taking online classes. My day is pretty full and if I'm not happy every day, it's not typically because I don't get to leave the house every day. You can leave the house every day and still not be happy. How many times can you go to the zoo? Or the park? Or on playdates? None of these are exactly women just getting to talk and have no cares in the world for a bit. Maybe SAHM's are depressed because they get no adult time, not because they are at home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I am a new SAHM but we dont stay home lol. my daughter and i are always on the move, along with my husband whether it is just over town, playdates, the park and of course ME time with a pedicure. Yes, i clean and what not but i am not revolving my life around it :) I am also a nursing student so i am pretty busy once it starts in May and i am expecting my second child but i definately do not feel like i have to stay home. i enjoy all the "Free time" but at the same time i feel so much busier. i guess because now that i am home there is so much to get done, especially with the baby coming and i cant put it all on my husband now because i am home all the time :)

    Answer by MamaHardy2008 at 5:41 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • OP, just curious, how many kids do you have? Do you work from home at all or are you a student? I have to assume your post is a spin off of mine, wondering where the joy is in being a SAHM, but you have NO IDEA what my situation is. You should feel very lucky that your husband earns enough that you don't need to also earn an income. I work from home AND do what you do, I have to in order to keep us afloat. If I was just a SAHM I'd probably be much happier only having one full time job. You really should just feel thankful, you could probably help your friends by not thinking that what they are going through is wrong. A good ear is what most of us need.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • If you only have one child you really shouldn't even comment. Having two (or more) makes having one seem like none, that is so true. Yesterday my daughter went on a play day and I only had my son, it was like a freaking vacation!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I would go nuts if I didnt get out and do something every day.... if I was a mom or not.... that is just me.
    It is proably why I moved to So. Cal.... I would go NUTS if I lived some place where the weather prevented me to get out and move my body.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I am not a sahm, but I get WAY more depressed having a dirty house than I do if I don't go out.. I would MUCH rather stay home and clean than go shopping.. to see friends.. whatever.. I'm just more of a home-body. The only thing that I prefer over staying home is taking my DD to the park. And only because I know how much she loves it.. LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

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