Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Was I out of line?

So DH and I were working in the garden today and I mentioned I wanted to plant more this year than last year. Last year I was prego and trying to keep up with 2 gardens. He started asking me, "Isn't that going to be too much work?" and all kinds of question that made me feel like he didn't have confidence in me. I was thinking, WHAT? I'm the one who takes care of the garden anyway, why does he even care? But he was talking like he does all the work. I was totally mystified and a little ticked. I think it touched a nerve because he's a bit dissatisfied with how I take care of the house in general, and I always feel like he thinks I'm lazy. I bitched at him a little. I want to make peace, but i really want him to understand. My confidence in myself went way down when I got married. But if there's one thing I KNOW I do well, it's grow one heck of a vegetable garden....


Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Apr. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like he's trying to be considerate. Cut him some slack for caring.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • I agree, it sounds like he didn't want you taking on too much, not that you couldn't do it. Pace yourself. He sounds like he was being nice and you over reacted.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • He asked you a simple question. If my husband got offended every time I asked a question just like that we'd be in huge trouble.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:02 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Thanks ladies... I know what you're saying.... But actually, after he asked this question he tried to convince me how much work he does in the garden because he wants it to be a "tidy" garden. I thought about it a lot since then, trying to see it from his perspective and why he would feel that it would make more work for him. I really think he's just more of a neat freak than I am, and maybe he doesn't like it that I don't do the weeding. But like I told him, more tomatoes isn't going to make more weeds. He just doesn't want the garden "crowded". It was really sparse last year. I feel like he cares more what it looks like aesthetically than the produce we get from it. And, like I said, he doesn't have confidence in me. That's the real issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

  • Thanks so much anon! LOL!

    He's not a bad guy. He just does everything perfect. And he's 12 years older than me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Apr. 8, 2010

Next question in Relationships
what would you do

Next question overall (Toddlers (1-2))
1st Haircut!

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN